Marauders - Always - Part One

Let Them Answer For It

The moment Remus Lupin left for class, Sirius Black stepped through the floo network into the living room at the Potter house. Lily was bent over her books and parchment at the dining room table, biting her lip and running a hand over her belly. A bowl of cheese and onion crisps sat at her elbow, and she munched, marking down something in her notes as she studied.

"Gods how can you read? My eyes can barely focus, I'm so nauseated," Sirius declared, dropping dramatically into the chair beside Lily.

"I have a paper," she murmured.

Sirius grabbed a couple crisps, ate them, and regretted it, groaning and laying his head down on the table.

Several moments passed. Upstairs, Dora started coughing and Sirius glanced at the ceiling.

"She coughs more between flint removals now," Lily said quietly, answering a question Sirius hadn't asked with an answer he didn't want to hear. He didn't move, didn't react. Sometimes, it was easier to pretend such statements were never said.

When several additional moments slipped past, Sirius said, "If James wanted to do something reckless and kind of insane to help someone else, would you stop him?"

"Knowing James, nothing could stop him if someone needed his help," she replied. She paused, then looked up, "Why? What's he doing?" Lily's eyes were full of worry.

"Nothing I know of!" Sirius said quickly. "It's a hypothetical question."

"Hypothetical like you asking Minnie about animagi or hypothetical like real humans use the word?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Sirius paused, then said, "Remus wants to go like... liberate werewolves or something."

Lily hesitated.

Sirius looked up, feeling her emotions. "You knew about this?" he asked.

Lily nodded. "I'm sorry. He mentioned it in private the morning after the full moon. He hadn't decided to go forward with it, though. Dumbledore had just approached him the first time and he mentioned it to me, and I said to him he needed to have a talk with you about it."

Sirius leaned back in the chair and sighed heavily. Lily reached over and held out her hand for his. He reluctantly leaned back forward and took hold of hers with his and studied their fingers as he wove them together.

"He's not leaving you behind, Sirius," Lily said, feeling his fears. "And he's not bored of you. You are enough. This isn't because you're lacking or letting him down in anyway. It's just the opposite, honey... You've built him up so much over the years, and given him confidence he never had before because of his furry little problem and now --" Lily squeezed Sirius's hand. "Now he wants other werewolves to know their worth, too. You've ignited him."

"I suppose," Sirius replied.

"You said once you wanted to help others like you'd helped Remus, remember?" Lily asked.

It still stung, thinking of that dream - that dream he had been denied of because of his family name. Because of politics and judgment. He wondered how many people would have benefitted if he had gotten to fulfill his dream - and whether those anonymous faces would ever be helped. Whether his failure had sealed their fates as it had sealed his own? Or were the gods less cruel than that? Would they simply find other ways, other healers, who hadn't let them down before they ever met?