Phoenix Rises

Chapter Nine Planting Seeds

I was exhausted by the time the police officer dropped me off at the psychiatric hospital in Troy. I took a seat in a closed-off triage room where a nurse was waiting to ask me questions.

"Hello, I'm Natasha, I'll be your intake nurse. I'm just gonna ask you a few questions and do a body search okay?" she told me.

"A body search?" I asked puzzled.

"Yes, ma'am we have to make sure that you don't have anything on you that could be harmful to you or the other patients." She said in a stern voice.

After she went on to ask me dozens of very private and invasive questions about my home life, and abuse growing up, she asked me to take my clothes off. She had to search through my clothes, remove my shoelaces from my shoes, and confiscate prohibited items. I felt humiliated but did as I was asked.

"For the first few days you can sleep as much as you want. Just until the doctor can get in to see you." Natasha told me as she walked me to my room.

It was a small room with 4 twin sized beds. I could see the belongings of other girls, but they were away.

Natasha chimed in, "They're in class now. They should be back after dinner. Don't worry I think you will get along with them just fine."

After Natasha left, I laid under the thin white hospital-like blankets and fell asleep. I was exhausted. I was exhausted from days roaming the streets, sleeping in parks. Exhausted from my life lived in constant uncertainty. I slept 18 hours straight barely noticing the other girls coming in and out of our room. The triage nurse came in several times to check my breathing and make sure I was okay. It had been a long time since I felt like someone cared about how I was doing.

Then one morning she came in and said, "Phoenix, Dr. Wu is ready to see you."

"Hello Phoenix, I heard you've been sleeping a lot," Dr. Wu said to me.

"Yes, I've been very tired," I replied.

"Is that normal for you? Do you sleep a lot?" he asked.

"No, not really. I've just been going through a lot. Especially since my mother died about a year ago." I responded.

"I see." Dr. Wu said, looking into his notes and writing more down. "What about nightmares, Phoenix? Do you have nightmares too?" he asked.

"Yes, I have them all the time. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I cannot tell if I am awake or asleep yet, and I see things that scare me" I said nervously.

"What is it that you see Phoenix?" he inquired more from me.

"I see my mother standing at my bed. Sometimes I also see my stepfather, and it is very scary for me." I continued. "Also, sometimes my heart races fast, I don't know why, I think I am dying."

Dr. Wu nodded his head as though he understood. I felt relieved that he understood. He didn't judge me, think I am crazy, or look at me suspiciously. He just believed me. Wow. What a feeling that was.

After the Dr. dismissed me, I was directed by Natasha to my first class, where I met my roommates. It was an art class, something that I really enjoyed. I was surprised, I was having fun. I painted a picture on canvas and the time flew by quickly.

"Med Call!" A nurse yelled once art class was over, and all the girls lined up in the hallway down from a nurse's window. "You too" Natasha said looking at me. "Me?" I thought. I realized they were going to put me on medication now.

I walked up to the nurses' window when it was my turn, and waited to see what they would be giving me. "Here" the nurse handed me a tiny plastic cup. Inside were two pills. "What are they?" I asked the nurse.