MEANINGLESS EYES OF FREEDOM: Volume 1

Chapter 4 - The Moon

A few weeks have passed since I had my talk with Kenichi and Arashi, and aside from a few awkward talks, nothing substantial happened.

But...in truth, I am scared. I am horrified. I don't know if what I'm doing is logical. I am completely shaking at the thought of it, and cold sweat continues to run down my body the more I keep the thought in my mind.

But...that's not important. If it's just me being afraid, it wouldn't be a problem. I hope it wouldn't.

What is important, is that I think what I'm doing is right.

That's right. I need to think on my reasons again. I began to hate the idea of escape because I didn't want to lose them. I didn't want to escape because I didn't want to lose my meaning of being here...to be with them.

Even if the trauma breaks me.

I don't think they think the same way. They probably want to leave as soon as possible, despite the risks or the consequences.

So...there's only one thing that I can do right now. I don't have any other choice.

I began my day as usual. I woke up at 7:00, and so did the other five children in their beds next to me. I wanted to go sleep for a few more minutes, but whatever. I'm not sure if that's just tiredness or the fact that I would be making a big decision today and didn't want to accept that reality. Ugh, so much things to think about and not too much time.

Since I stayed in bed for a bit longer than the rest, I had to wait outside of the restroom along with two other children who were also a bit late since the restroom can only accommodate up to three people. Unfortunately, this would mean I wouldn't get to shower, but that's fine. I always have until lunch.

Once everyone was finished with the restroom we headed for breakfast. I put in my code for my seat and then promptly sat once my chair appeared. I've had to familiarize myself with these codes for quite some time now, and hopefully they'll put themselves to use when the time comes. For now, I just had to enjoy my soup as it got served to me. Though, I looked towards the table next to me and I saw Kenichi still not getting used to fish soup with Arashi enjoying it, not caring about the person next to him. I laughed inside of my mind. That sight will never get old.

After breakfast, I went to go study sadly. I am still paranoid after what happened a few weeks ago when they put Japanese and Math together. What were they thinking when they did that? Even though I was nowhere close to failing, I still didn't get a good score. That really ruined my day. I couldn't tell Kenichi that though, he might've made fun of me. As I patiently and anxiously waited for the subjects for today to appear, I started to pretend to go to sleep, so that nobody would think I was nervous. But alas, the subjects appeared and I noticed that they had Math and Chemistry together. Huh, not too bad.

Studying was finally over and I get to rest by doing outdoor training. Ah, how relaxing. Easily one of my best parts of the day. Thinking about it, I should've been put in special training with Kenichi and Arashi, but perhaps they have something unique about them that I don't know that makes them deserving of that. Either way, even though it's harder than regular training, they always seem to breeze past it. Kind of inspiring, I'll be honest.

When lunch time arrived, I immediately headed to the bedroom and one other child came with me but I didn't talk to her. Once I entered in my code to the restroom, I showered, cleaned my teeth, washed my hair and turned on my inside uniform. This uniform has annoyed me in more ways than one, but hopefully it doesn't take away from what I plan on doing. After I cleaned myself, I decided to use the remaining of my lunch time to check all of the other rooms to make sure nothing was out of the ordinary. I made sure that these rooms I checked didn't have any children in them, by seeing if the assigned children to these rooms were outside or doing other activities. I also checked the living rooms, much to the dismay of the instructors. They shouldn't care because we're allowed to come here during lunch. This took about an hour, and I found nothing wrong with any of the rooms and their codes. Perfect. My plan can now proceed.