Connor's Tale - A Jonnor story

Chapter 3 - Taylor's Story

Connor looked at the two girls and knew that he didn't want to talk here on the beach where anyone could hear them.  He wanted to be comfortable, and to be honest, he needed to sit down - his foot was starting to hurt, and he also needed some privacy to say what he wanted to say and he couldn't get that on the crowded beach.  "Let's go sit at our table up by the school."  He told them and turned and started to make his way back towards the school and the table where they all had eaten lunch together so many times before, moving much slower than before as he realized with a pang that he didn't have Jude there to steady him if he fell.

"Let us get our stuff and we will be right there," Taylor said to Connor as he left.

Daria and Taylor watched Connor start off and they turned back to their blanket and supplies. Taylor started gathering their stuff up but Daria had stopped and was just watching her friend with her arms crossed, trying really hard to avoid saying what was on the tip of her tongue. She wanted to yell at Taylor, even to scream, but she was not going to do that here in front of everyone. She was, however, unable to contain the sound of dissatisfaction that escaped her.

"Please don't" Taylor said. She had stopped putting things together, but would not even look at Daria. "I feel bad enough, I can't deal with much more. I am so sorry for how this happened, but..." she didn't seem able to finish.

"Why?" Daria said "Taylor, why didn't you tell me? You tell the whole school about them, about my boyfriend, well my ex, but why not me? You knew how upset I was when Connor broke up with me, why didn't you tell me if you knew?"

Taylor looked up at Daria, her eyes shining from the tears that she was holding back, "I didn't know, not totally. I started to think that Jude had a crush on Connor a while back but I only confronted him about it after TP-ing Brooklyn's house."

"What do you mean you confronted him about it?" Daria asked as she knelt down next to Taylor to help with the pack up.

"I tried to kiss him" Taylor whispered. Daria's eyes got bigger and she started to smile but then stopped "what do you mean you tried?"

"I leaned in, but he pulled back. He tried to apologize, but it was the final piece. I had seen how he was when he was around you two and though I knew you were trying to set us up, he never seemed interested in me. At first I thought maybe he was just really shy. I had thought that Connor was just being nice to a shy kid, that he was cool about being friends with someone who wasn't like him you know? Jude was quiet and reserved, not athletic or popular. I couldn't figure out why they were friends, so I thought that it was just that Connor was just a good guy." Taylor looked at Daria and saw recognition and agreement with what she was saying.

"But then I started noticing something." Taylor continued.

"What" Daria asked?

"Whenever anyone would come up with an idea to do something, or a plan would come up or there was a discussion about eating together, going to the fair, or whatever, Connor would always look at Jude to see if it was okay. He was always making sure that Jude was okay with the idea or plan before committing to it. He would try to convince Jude sometimes, but it seemed that he was always looking to see if it was okay. I started to think that maybe it wasn't that Connor was being nice to Jude, but that he was really looking for Jude's approval."

"I could have told you that," Daria replied surprising Taylor. Seeing the look on her face, Daria continued "I figured out really quickly that Connor and Jude were a package deal, but I just figured they were best friends. I learned quickly that when Jude was mad at Connor, it really bothered him. He didn't want to have to choose between us so I was very careful to never try and force him to choose. I think I knew even then that if I did, he wouldn't choose me."