What would happen if they had a functional brain

My Cool Girlfriend Part 2

I slowly opened my eyelids. My dreams were not the most pleasant, I relived that night again, hearing his voice, feeling his touches on my body, inside me.

I bit my lower lip hard enough to make me bleed, the pain made the memories stop and even though I am bleeding now I prefer that to having my mind invaded by that night.

I looked up at my boyfriend's sleeping face. I began to remember what happened before I ended up falling asleep in his arms, how he held me and comforted me, how he didn't seem to think badly of me despite what had happened.

I don't deserve to be with someone like him, always so loving, so attentive. What have I given him? I am always distant and cold and find it hard to be otherwise, no matter how hard I try. That had the gift of driving all my previous partners away and the truth is I can't blame any of them for severing our relationship.

I thought this relationship would end the same way, that eventually the jovial and loving guy would get tired of me being so distant and cold to him like the others did. But the days turned into weeks, the weeks, months, and months into a year and during all that time he didn't seem to lose any of the love he has always professed for me.

Taking advantage of the fact that he has me in his arms, I responded to his embrace by holding him close to me. I want to wake him up and tell him how much I love him, to thank him for staying by my side despite my attitude, despite... What happened to me last night.

It seems that hugging him had the effect of waking him up, because his eyelids opened so that his eyes stayed fixed on me "Are you okay?" were his first words.

I don't feel like answering that question, because the truth is I'm not, but I don't want to admit it either.

He glued his forehead to mine making his face just inches away from mine and I had a direct view of his gray eyes "How are you feeling?" he asked again.

I fell silent again trying to run away from his gaze. I tried to get up from the bed, but as I was doing so, he wrapped his arms around my hips and attached his abdomen to my back.

I didn't fight against his embrace because I just realized that when I am in his arms... I don't feel the touches of that night, I don't feel my body dirty.

For minutes he just stayed like that, hugging me without insisting more on his questions, even though I know very well that he wants me to answer him, but he prefers to wait for me to be the one to decide when to do it... He has always been like that, always giving me that comfort to decide when something concerns me directly.

Even when we had our first sexual relationship, he waited for me to feel ready to take our relationship to that point, my previous partners were not all that patient.

"N-no... I don't feel good" I replied at last feeling a great weight leap off my shoulders.

I felt his grip, become tighter and his teeth grind. I didn't need to see his face to know he was trying to contain his anger.

We were silent again for several minutes, me not knowing what else to say, but unwilling to part from him and his side, perhaps debating what he should say or do to me.

"We should go to the police" I felt my body stiffen when I heard those words.

Do it, pay... It's something I would like, to do it, pay for what he did to me, for how he took advantage of me, but... Would the police believe me, what proof do I have other than my own word?

"I-I... I don't know What if they don't believe me?" I said clinging closer to him, feeling more vulnerable.

"Why wouldn't they believe you? That bastard... He... He did it" Sometimes I forget how naive he can be, maybe because he comes from a camp? Or is it just his way of being, of always expecting the best from people.