𝙼𝚢 𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎

Sunday, 5th of may 2024

I can't do this anymore. First it was dnfclips that deleted their books and left wattpad (which I can understand) but now Yourlocaltrashishere's account got deleted or privated. I hate this. The two only books that kept me motivated, that made me laugh and cry are both deleted. I just can't. I hate the dsmp so much, and again, I'm addicted to it, whatever I do is related to it, and only brings back these memories. I shouldn't be crying over dnf smut oneshots but I swear dnfclips and localtrash were so nice, and their fanfics and oneshots were all so well written.

I'm crying right now, @Yourlocaltrashishere pls tell me you're doing good and that you'll reupload your oneshots. Please tell me you didn't quit or that wattpad banned you for whatever reason

I just wanna go back in 2020, just to experience the peek of popularity the fandom got back then. I don't feel accepted, I'm touch starved, but the worst is that little world in my head, this world where everything would be perfect. This world, where I'd be a streamer, with two best friends like a sort of dream team, where we'd have contacts w/ the actual dsmp, where the allegations never happened, where I'd be confident and proud of myself. I know I'm dreaming and that my expectations are too high, after all I'm just a random 13 year old dream stan pathetically believing that in another universe, this could've been my normal life