Close Enough To Feel You [L.R.H]

Chapter 4

Renee Silver

I walked into the spa after I booked a random appointment with the woman called his mother. "Hi, I have an appointment with Liz?" I said as I played with the ring on my finger.

"She'll be right out to get you" the receptionist said as I took a seat on the chair in the waiting room. I played with the ring more after a few minutes went by as she walked out, "renee?" she questioned.

"That's me" I smiled getting up, having a wave of anxiety hit me as we walked into the massage room. "Have you ever gotten a massage before?" she asked.

"Nope" I chuckled as she nodded and handed me a towel, "i'll come back in a few minutes, just undress and lay a towel over your body and get comfortable on the table sweetie" she smiled a bit and walked out the room.

A few minutes went by as I got situated on the table and she walked back in. I decided to make small talk without it getting awkward but she read my mind first. "That's a cute ring.." she said as she started to massage my back.

"Oh.." I paused for a second, "thank you I got it from a pawn shop," I said into the little hole facing the floor. "Looks like the one that my son had"

My heart stopped, so it is true. This is his mother, and it is his ring. I decided to keep it cool and collected, "why did he sell it?" I said as I made it up.

"Well" she paused and continued to massage my back, "i actually sold it" she huffed out as she walked around to the other side of me. "He's been missing for 3 or so years.."

"I just finally gave up realizing he's never coming home, I always wonder if it's something I did" she sighed and stopped. "God I'm sorry I'm getting emotional over here, how has your day been?" she said as she started to continue.

The rest of the massage was a little awkward, but after she finished she walked me up to the front. "If you ever see him, I know it's a big world but sometimes it's a small world.." she started to say, "just tell him I miss him"

I smiled a bit and started to say, "I will if I ever do.." she nodded and walked back to her room and shut the door. I paid and immediately got in my car feeling like I just ruined this woman's day.

I sighed and went back home, changing into my work clothes and heading to work. It wasn't a busy day at all, a few rushes here or there but then a few spills that I had to clean up because no one else was here.

It was a late night though, some of the tills were messed up and it was my job to fix it. I didn't leave the store until 11:45 that night. Finally I walked out the store as I locked the doors again heading to my car in its usual spot with the usual man sitting in the same spot as always, holding a cigarette in between his fingers.

"Seriously?" I asked as I went up to him. "What? I need you to light it for me" he chuckled as he held the cigarette closer to me. I rolled my eyes and brought out the lighter and lit the cigarette.

"How long have you been out here?" I asked as I put the lighter away. "Probably 9 ish" he said as he took in a breath of the smoke. "I saw your mom today." I blurted out as his vision went from the street directly to my eyes.

"What?" he asked as he put the cigarette down. "It's a long story.." I said as I started to explain to him how I found out who his mom is and what exactly happened. "She told me that if I ever saw you, that I would tell you that she misses you" I said with a little mumble in my voice.

"Do you know how hard it is to be still "living" in your parents house and watching them when they don't even know you're there." he said as he took in another hit. I shook my head as I didn't even know how to respond. "It sucks."

"I'm sorry.." I mumbled not knowing what to say. "You can't touch them, tell them that you're right there. Have them even see you." he sighed and finished the cigarette as he stomped on it. "But enough about me, what's up with you?"

"Well for one i cant believe im talking to a ghost about this but, this somehow feels therapeutic." I said as I leaned against my car. This started to feel like a routine, walking out of my job, lighting his cigarette, talking to a ghost.

"Tell me something about yourself that you've never told anyone" he said as he looked at me. "Well" I started off, starting to think a bit.

"I like to watch the stars," I said, looking up at the sky above me. You couldn't see the stars too much because of the light surrounding the city, but you obviously knew that they were there. "It's like there's always someone watching. Whether it's aliens "I chuckled, "whether it's your loved ones, or just nothing and it's just balls of fire illuminating the sky."

"Poetic, I like it" he chuckled as he looked up also. I chuckled, matching his energy. Damn I can't believe I'm talking to a ghost about this. "I always used to stargaze when I was a little girl, especially after my father passed away when I was younger, I always felt like he was watching me close by.. Watching me grow up in a sense."

He nodded, letting me speak more. This is why this feels therapeutic, I'm talking to someone that doesn't really exist. "This is going to be a weird question but I've always wanted to know this, can you see other ghosts?" I asked, sitting on the hood of my car.

"Sadly, no" he responded. "But I do have a feeling that they're all around us, just like me. Watching people constantly, being around the family they used to be with"

I nodded slowly crossing my arms bringing my attention back to him, "what about you mr luke hemmings"

"What about me?" he asked to get off of the railing, getting a little closer to me. "What's one thing you never told anyone?"

"Well off the top of my head," he started to say, blowing a raspberry and then looking back at me. "I told myself that I'd never fall in love again because of me hurting everyone around me, including myself." he said looking away after the last part.

"If you don't want to talk about it.. It's fine "I said as I gained my attention back to him. He shook his head, "i haven't been able to actually talk about it to someone until now so"

"I had a girlfriend of 5 years.. I wanted to marry her. She was like a warm summer breeze that would always cool you down after a hot summer day." he said as he played with his other rings on his fingers. "She met my family, we had an apartment together under her name, but I walked in one day to her making out with one of my old classmates from college."

"They were hooking up for a year while we were together." he said, grabbing out another cigarette. "I'm so sorry that happened to you."

"And I always wonder if it was something I did, like was I not good enough?" he said as I lit the cigarette for him, smelling the nicotine hit my nose. "You seem like you're more than good enough.." I mumbled looking at him.

"I feel like I know it's not my fault.. But I always feel like it is too" he said, taking in a hit and blowing it to the side. "What was the guy's name?"

"Michael i believe" he said as he leaned against my car a bit. "Shut up." I said as I looked at him again. "What?"

"Do you know his last name?" I asked as I hopped off my car. "Clifford?"

"Shut the fuck up, hes my neighbor." i said putting my head in my hands trying to wrap my head around this. "Really?" he asked as he looked at me again. I nodded, putting my vision back on him as he was looking into my eyes.

After a long moment of silence between us, he finally spoke up, "it's getting late Renee.. You should go"

I was leaning against my car hood again as he got off of my car and started walking off. "Luke" I called out as he turned around. "I uhm" I paused while playing with my fingers.

"I work tomorrow again.." I said as he turned around and looked at me and nodded, turning back around as he walked to the street. I got in my car and drove off back to my apartment.