Inseparable

The night before Steve leaves

Bucky laughed softly as he shook his head. "You still don't get it, Steve?" I still must live with the fact that I killed those people. I will never be able to truly be who I was before. Steve began to protest but Bucky held up his hand, stopping him. "I can't go back to the life that was taken from me; I can't try to relive it." Steve glanced at Bucky. "Hydra did that, not you." Bucky smiled dimly, "If only it was that simple. You didn't change, you were stuck in ice for 70 years while I..killed people! You go back Steve, I will be fine here, all alone!" Bucky snapped. Steve's silent surprise made Bucky stop storming from the room. Bucky sighed and his blue eyes softened as they looked back into Steve's, but Steve could see faint tears brimming as Bucky said, "I'm sorry. Just do it, Steve. Go, be with Peggy, you're made for each other." Bucky turned and left, and although he wanted to go after him, Steve pushed it aside, determined to make his plans.

It was only now as he lay in the dark just him and his thoughts that he began to rethink the idea. Hearing a noise from his friend's room he opened the door to find Bucky shivering and shaking, a whimper escaping him. Horror ran through Steve's veins. Shuri had told him that leaving Wakanda might trigger nightmares again, especially after fighting in two more wars. Hurrying to his side he began to shake him, "Bucky it's me! It's Steve! You're safe." Bucky's whimper turned into words, "I won't obey, you can't make me! I'm James Buchanan Barnes....no no no he can't be! Don't stick me back in there! NOOO!" Bucky's scream woke him, and he looked around frantically, hyperventilating. Steve gripped his shoulders as Bucky struggled to get away and trying to keep his voice calm, he said, "Buck look at me! You aren't at Hydra." Bucky's fearful eyes flicked to his and recognition flashed in them. "Steve? What happened? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" Steve sighed in relief, he was okay.

Bucky looked Steve over quickly. The nightmare had been so real, he had been reliving his memories from when they first began wiping him. What if he had hurt Steve while trying to protect himself? He had strangled men at Hydra before while trying to escape only to be beaten like an animal. So when Steve reached towards him, he reflexively winced. The pain on Steve's face made him cringe mentally. "I'm so sorry Steve, I didn't mean to. It's a reflex from when they used to..." His voice faded off. Why was he bothering Steve with stories? Steve didn't need this; he needed his rest. He was going to be leaving him in the morning for Peggy. Steve took his hand gently and held it for a few minutes and they sat in silence. Finally, Steve spoke, "Do you want to talk about it? I know you don't like talking about your past and we didn't have much time to but I'm here for you." Bucky sighed, "Steve don't bother alright? I'll be fine, just go. You need your rest." Bucky pulled his hand away and rolled over, closing his eyes with a sigh. If only there was a way to get rid of the nightmares for good. He opened his eyes due to a rustling noise and shifting of the bed. Steve had gone around and climbed into the other side of the bed and now was watching him quietly.

Steve watched Bucky sigh in indignation, lifting himself on an elbow. "Steve, what are you doing?" "I'm sleeping with you like we used to do when we were in the army and were too scared to face the night alone." "Why now?" "Just come here, Buck." Steve opened his arms and Bucky silently slid into them, an involuntary sigh of contentment slipping out. Steve pulled him closer until Bucky's head rested against his chest, Steve's hand resting gently on his metal arm. Steve enjoyed the warmth, he felt safe, and most of all he felt protected. Bucky gave a small laugh, "It used to be me holding you, remember?" Steve chuckled. He remembered. The first night they slept like this was when his mom died. They had set up beds on the floor like when they were kids and in the middle of the night, Bucky was woken by his crying. "I remember. It was the only way to comfort me that night. I was a wimpy little guy, wasn't I?" Bucky groaned, "No Steve. You've always been strong, stubborn, and willing to do what is right. I don't follow you because you are Captain America but because you are my best friend and we were supposed to be together until the end of the line."

Steve's guilty silence hung in the air. Hot tears began to fall onto Steve's shirt, and Steve tried to comfort him, but Bucky reached across and grabbed his hand, holding it tightly in his metal one. "Shut up and just stay, just for tonight, promise me Steve." His voice shook, betraying his emotions. "I promise you Bucky, I won't leave you." Steve's voice sounded so sad that it almost made him want to hope he changed his mind but that would be selfish of him. Even though the bed and Steve's warmth surrounded him, Bucky never felt colder. He almost wished he was back in Cryo and could forget this. This world wouldn't feel like home without Steve. 

I don't care how cringe this is. Just brothers comforting each other. sorry if it's weird.