Their Obsession

6

C H A P T E R  S I X - W A L K

Beyoncé

I finally made it to the school gates and breathed in and out deeply, bent over to rub my sweaty palms up and down my shaking thighs as I tried to calm down my racing heart and sooth my aching limbs. I was extremely sweaty and wearing this extremely long and thick pink sweats in this intense summer heat wasn't helping at all. I usually wasn't this over dressed in this type of weather, but I needed to make sure that I covered up every and all visible bruises. This is the most it's ever been and it was taking longer than usual to heal up and fade. Maybe it's because daddy had never hurt me as bad as he did that day. Robyn may have hurt me a lot, but I felt her attacks more emotionally than physically. She's never given me a bruise besides the cut on my head. This is the first time in a long time that I had to cover up this much. I hope this is the last.

It felt as though buckets of sweat was gliding down my back and chest which made me really uncomfortable, but it was all worth it. I no longer had to take the bus. Daddy had given me permission after an entire week of continuous and persistent begging. It wasn't at all easy to get him to agree. I went through a lot to just get him to think about it, but if it meant that I wouldn't have to ride alongside Chris and Robyn ever again, I'd go through it all again.

I hadn't been in school since Wednesday. After daddy had hurt me so badly, he allowed me to stay home so that my swelling would
Go down and so that my black and blue bruises wouldn't bring any attention to his very deep secret. I knew not to do my homework Wednesday evening because I knew that I wouldn't be going to school the next day.

It was the norm. If there were any physical evidence of daddy's punches or slaps, I wouldn't go to school or leave home for the library until my bruises disappeared. Daddy has never beaten me as bad as he did yesterday, but whenever I did get the occasional slap or punch, I'd have to stay locked away in my room. I wouldn't have to cook or do any of my daily chores. He didn't like looking at me or me looking at him. I never knew why. It's just always been that way. Since the beatings started.

The day after the incident I woke up with only one thing on my mind. I had to get daddy to allow me to walk to school from now on. I knew that he wouldn't like the idea and that there was nothing I could say to make him agree to it, except that I was being bullied. Daddy's biggest fear was me being hurt by a strange man. He'd always tell me how he wanted me to stay within the safe confined spaces of our brick walled home so that no sick man could get their filthy hands on me. Now I knew that Robyn wasn't a man, but Chris was. If he knew that a boy was hurting me then maybe, just maybe he'd allow me to ditch the bus.

As I laid in my bed and contemplated on whether or not I should get up and ask him, I felt my stomach begin to turn. I was scared of what he might do to me. Not only was I breaking the rules by leaving my room when I wasn't supposed to, but I was going to have to ask him to allow me to do something that scared him. As much as I dreaded the thought of the painful consequences I was bound to endure, I couldn't fight the urge.

I couldn't handle being on the bus knowing that everyone saw me get humiliated yesterday. It may not have been the first time since they've obviously bared witness to Robyn's antics on the bus, but I've never made much mind to them noticing it all until yesterday. To see the pity and amusement in their eyes is something I couldn't bear to face.

I slowly got up from my bed and limped over to my door. I was still in so much pain. Every little movement I made hurt so much. I wanted to stay in bed for the entire day but I knew that I needed to do this. I made my way down the wooden staircase and slowly entered the living room. Daddy's eyes quickly met mine before they quickly slipped back onto the television screen.