Chapter 1. Finding Comfort in Familiarity

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Authors note: Everyone in this story is 18+ and when not it will be stated otherwise.

Cassandra

It has been a year since I last saw Sebastian. A year since I heard his voice, smelled him, and felt his touch. It has been too long since he had been in my presence, and I in his. I missed our moments together, our adventures, our little mischievous plans we would execute sporadically. I remember the time we started a food fight in the Great Hall. At first, we were throwing food at each other, but then Sebastian missed. A poor first-year Ravenclaw student got mashed potatoes all in her hair. And then it escalated very quickly. We didn't hesitate and started throwing food in every direction. We only had our fun for about 30 seconds before Professor Weasley interfered. Everyone was dismissed except for us. We had to stay and clean up without magic until everything was spick and span. That was the night we had our first kiss. I was covered in debris of pumpkin pie, and Sebastian was wet from gravy and had little pieces of meat in his hair. We were laughing because we had so much fun and were also trying not to think about all the things that had happened that school year. When we fell silent in our laughs and only smiles were present, he grabbed my face by placing his hands on my cheeks. He pulled my face towards his and placed a gentle, but strong kiss on my lips. A slight smile appears on my face when I'm reliving the memory.

"Are you alright?" I turn my face away from the window and meet Poppy's eyes. She gazes at me with furrowed brows and a creased forehead, her eyes filled with genuine concern. The concern is palpable, radiating from her in waves of empathy and care. It's as if she's silently pleading for me to confide in her, to share the burden that weighs on my heart.

I have lived with her and her Nan over the past few months. No point in going back to the orphanage in London, not after everything that had happened. I finally felt I had a home in Hogwarts and didn't actually have somewhere to go during the summer. I talked to Professor Weasley, and she told me I could stay in the castle. The Room of Requirements had become my private quarters. I had summoned a bed, and the room adjusted so I had a small bathroom. I did have to eat with the house elves. Weasley did not want me to waste away in the tower; she made me swear I also had to write my friends and did not become this lonely hermit. When Poppy got word I had been living in the castle, she explained everything to her Nan, and she insisted that I would stay with them for an undetermined time. I was grateful. I still am. I got my own room and celebrated the holidays with them; it was the first time I felt like I had a family. But sometimes it was hard to explain myself to them. When I was gone for days and didn't send an owl. When I didn't come out of my room for days and I did not want to eat. Not only because of Sebastian, but also the deaths of Professor Fig and Lodgok. I didn't know how to talk about my grief. I didn't want to burden Sebastian with this because he had his own problems and grief to deal with. I did try talking to him about his grief, but he said it was too soon. Therefore, I didn't try again, but hell, was I regretting it now.

The first few months I flew on my broom in the middle of the night to the forbidden forest. To fight every hostile creature I could find. Trolls had become my favourite. It always took a lot of energy to bring them down. But when they eventually fell, I had a euphoric feeling. It took me back to the time I fought my first troll with Sebastian in Hogsmeade. But unfortunately, that feeling only lasted so long. And I went to bed with yet again an empty feeling.

"Yes, I'm fine, Poppy," I said to her. I didn't sound convincing, and Poppy thought the same. I could not even look into her eyes, and my thumbs were twirling. I turned my gaze back to the window and rested my head in my hand.

"We're almost there. 20 minutes," she said with a soothing and kind voice. We were on the train to Hogwarts, my first home. I remembered every little detail about my first arrival. I remember being so overwhelmed by everything. The castle, the students and teachers, and all the magic. I finally felt I belonged.

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