Spellbound Souls

Chapter 7. The Weight of Guilt

Cassandra

Ominis leaves the Undercroft and only Sebastian and I remain. The tension is palpable. The dimly lit room offering us a semblance of privacy for our conversation. The weight of unspoken words hanging heavily in the air.

I could see the guilt written all over Sebastian's face, the pain in his eyes a reflection of my own. But as much as I wanted to soften, to forgive him, the hurt and anger still simmered just beneath the surface.

"You left without a word," I began, my voice steady despite the storm of emotions raging inside me. "You didn't even tell me where you went. Do you have any idea what that did to me?" Sebastian flinched at my words.

"I'm sorry, Cassandra," he said, his voice barley above a whisper. "I never meant to hurt you."

    "Then why did you leave?" I demanded, my voice rising with each word. "Why couldn't you have just told me what was going on with you? We could have faced it together, Sebastian. But instead, you left me here, wondering if you were ever coming back."

Sebastian didn't respond, his gaze fixed on the floor as if unable to meet my eyes.

    "I had to go," he said finally. "I couldn't stay, not after what happened with Solomon, and Anne."

    "So you just left?" I shot back, my anger boiling over. "You didn't even think to tell me? To let me know that you were okay or even alive?"

Sebastian shakes his head. "I didn't know if I was okay," he admitted. "I was lost, Cassandra. I didn't know what to do, where to go, I just needed to get away."

    "And what about me?" I asked firmly, tears welling in my eyes.

    "Did you ever stop to think about how your leaving would affect me?"

Sebastian's silence was all the answers I needed. The guilt and shame in his eyes spoke volumes, his own pain a mirror of my own.

    "I'm sorry," he said finally, his voice breaking. "I never meant to hurt you, Cassandra. I just... I didn't know what else to do."

His words hung in the air between us, heavy with regret and pain. I want to forgive him and forget about all this, but the hurt was still too raw, too fresh.

    "I need time," I said eventually. "I need time to think, to process everything that's happened. But I can't do that if you're here Sebastian. I need you to go."

Sebastian nodded, his own pain written all over his face. "I understand, I'll go."

As he turned to leave, I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. Sebastian was hurting too, I knew that. But right now, I need space to heal, to come to terms with everything that had happened.

Sebastian

Meeting Cassandra again was both a relief and a torment. I wanted to be in her presence, but as I stood before her, the weight of my action bore down on me like a crushing weight.

She looked at me with a mixture of emotions, her eyes betraying the hurt and anger she must have felt. And I couldn't blame her. I had left without a word, disappeared without so much as a goodbye.

As she spoke, her words were like daggers, each one piercing my heart with its truth.

    "I'm sorry, Cassandra," I whispered. "I never meant to hurt you." But even as the words left my mouth, I knew they were not enough.

    "I had to go," I admitted, my voice barely audible. "I couldn't stay, not after what happened with Solomon, and Anne." I am trying my best to explain this to her. But it was hard, and it felt as if my words were meaningless. I had left her without so much as a goodbye, and now I had to face the aftermath.

    "I'm sorry," I said again, my voice almost breaking. "I never meant to hurt you, Cassandra. I just... I didn't know what else to do." Not good enough.

Then she asked me to leave. I felt my heart break all over again.

As I turned to depart, I couldn't help but feel regret. I had hurt her, betrayed her trust. But even as I walked away, I knew that I would do whatever it took to earn back her trust, to make thing right between us once more.

***

As I stormed out of the Undercroft, anger boiled within me, a seething mass of frustration and self-loathing. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have hurt her like that?

The weight of my actions pressed down on me like a suffocating blanket, each step heavier than the last. I had hurt Cassandra, betrayed her trust, and now I had to live with the consequences.

The corridor stretched out before me, dark and empty, mirroring the turmoil in my mind. I wanted to scream, to lash out at the world, but what good would it do? I had brought this upon myself.

With each step, the anger within me grew, a raging fire threatening to consume me whole. I wanted to punch something, to break something, to make the pain go away.

But I know no matter how hard I tried, the guilt would remain, a heavy weight dragging me down. I had hurt Cassandra, and I didn't know if I could ever make it right.

As I reach the end of the corridor, I stop. I lean against the cold stone wall for support. Tears are pricking at the corners of my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall.

I didn't know if I could ever forgive myself. But one thing was certain: I would do whatever it took to make things right.

As I stand there, lost in my own thoughts, a figure suddenly appears in the corridor, blocking my path. It's Leander, a smug smirk plastered across his face.

"Well, well, well," he sneers, his voice dripping with malice. "If it isn't the great Sebastian Sallow, back from the dead."

I clench my fists, my nails digging into my palms as anger surges through me. Leander has always rubbed me the wrong way, but now, in my current state, I can barely contain my rage.   

"What's the matter, Sallow?" he continues, taking a step closer. "Did you have a fight with your precious little girlfriend?"

The words hit me like a physical blow, and before I know it, I am moving. In an instant, my fist connects with Leander's jaw, the force of the blow sending him stumbling backward.

"You son of a—" Leander starts, but I am already on him, my anger boiling over. I rain blow after blow upon him, my fists moving of their own accord.

The sound of our scuffle echoes through the empty corridor, but I don't care. All I can see is red, all I can feel is the burning rage coursing through my veins. Leander gets a few good hits too, but I don't feel them. It isn't until I hear Cassandra's voice that I snap out of it, her cries of protest piercing through the haze of my anger.

"Sebastian, stop!" she shouts, her voice filled with fear and desperation. "Please, stop!"

For a moment, I hesitate, my fist poised to strike once more. But then, as if waking from a trance, I pull back, my chest heaving with exertion.

Leander lies crumpled on the ground before me, blood streaming from his nose and mouth, eyes wide open and filled with fear. I feel a surge of satisfaction at the sight, but it is quickly replaced by a deep sense of shame.

What have I done?