GET A GRIP: Crazy

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You've been in the motel for 3 days, you had a lot of time to think to yourself.

You decided that it would be for the best if you and Miguel split apart, especially since you know that it will never lead to anything more than it already is.

Knowing him though, he won't let you go without a fight. Which is a horrible thing, especially right now.

As you get up to take a shower you hear a knock. "Who is it?" You ask through the door. "It's me."

Your heart sinks as you hear his voice. "Go away, I don't want to see you right now."

All you could feel in that moment was his forearm pressing against your neck, you can still breathe but you feel the presence of his arm.

"Please, I really want to talk to you."

"How did you know where I was?"

"Don't worry about it, I just want to talk to you."

"You can through the door."

It's silent, then you hear him sigh. "Yeah, you're right." He clears his throat and you can hear him shifting a bit.

"I'm really sorry, I really am. I don't know why I acted like that, it was super out of character for me. I would never purposefully hurt you or put you in danger-
and-and I know I did, but I just want you to know how much I regret it and that I will never do that again to you... can you please open the door? and look at me?"

"No. I can't." He stays quiet for a bit, you can hear him fidgeting with his zipper. "Yeah, that's what I figured."

"I don't expect-" "we need to-"

You both spoke at the same time. "Oh, sorry, you go ahead."

"We should break up."

"Break up? ..how can we? I mean, it's not like we're dating anyway."

"I... know. I mean, whatever this is, I don't think we should continue, especially since it will never amount to anything, anything good at least."

"Please, don't do this... don't do this to me, Y/N. Not through a door!"

"I'm sorry Miguel."

"Just please let me see you, one more time? Please?" You pause and ultimately decide to let him in.

You open the door and you see his face, you've never seen so much regret in someone.

He steps in and doesn't take his eyes off of you. "Y/n... I..." he starts to get choked up.

He takes a second to calm down and then looks back down at you.

"I never meant to hurt you, I really didn't. I will regret that for the rest of my life! And I deserve to feel that regret. It's my fault you got hurt at the end of the day."

You don't say anything but just nod. He gets closer to you and you back away a bit, he stops moving and he just looks at you.

He reaches his hand out to your cheek and you allow it. He gently strokes your cheek then leans in to kiss you.

You don't reject him but you don't kiss back. He pulls away and looks up at the ceiling.

"God, why don't you have feelings for me..." you stay silent.

You've been playing him this entire time and you didn't even know it. He continues looking up and you didn't realize it until now.

He was crying.

Your heart sank as you remain quiet. You look at the ground.

Maybe you're overreacting, maybe you just wanted to shift the blame onto him.

You didn't want to be evil so you made him evil.

You didn't really, he decided to do it. You didn't force him to.

Then why do you want to forgive him so badly?

You've always been selfish, so it wouldn't be a surprise that you wanted to keep him around for validation.

You're just an attention whore, always have been, you just never realized it. Now you've hurt 2 people in the process.

Miguel and Casey.

He wipes his tears and sniffles. "I should leave you alone for now."

"No, don't leave. Don't leave, it's my fault!" Every part of you wants to try and stop him but your body and mouth don't do anything.

"Well, bye. Take care of yourself, Y/N."

"Why can't you read my mind?!" Just like that he left.

Your stubbornness, ego, selfishness held you back from begging him to stay. He was crying for you.

You.

You let him slip away because you were having fun with the game. You didn't care about him or his feelings.

So why now? Why now did you start to feel guilt? Why after you've made it clear you don't like him like that, did you feel guilt?

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A/N: Thank you guys so much for reading! By the time I post this it'll be my birthday! I turn 20! Not now, it's may 19th 😭 but thank you all for reading! 🙏💝ྀི

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