Challenges In Anuzyn

11) My First Love (2)

It's today.

Today is my date of death. That's a sentence I never thought I'd say. I can't stop thinking about what will happen once the day is over.

The questions are piling up, and I have no answers. I haven't spoken to any of the gods in such a long time. I've started thinking Anuzyn was all a dream, and I was delusional. I'll drive myself crazy with all the 'what ifs'.

What if I never really died? What if Arel,  Jui, Father, and everyone else were never real? Was I ever really safe? If it was real, what would happen to Matt?

But the last one is the one I fear most. I've become insanely attached to Matt in the past few weeks, and I can't bear losing him. He is my destiny even if I don't believe in destiny.

"Kiara, are you listening?"

I blink, and everything comes back into focus. The counsellor is looking at me concerned, and I realise I haven't heard a single word, she said.

"Sorry I was lost in thought," I mutter and sink back into my chair.

The counsellors office is a cosy little room at the very end of the administration building. It's secluded nature makes it easier for students to get  their without being noticed.

"I heard that you've been getting better with interacting with people. Now I know you don't like talking about your parents...."

She stops talking when she sees my expression. It's always like this when anyone brings up my earth parents. Pure hatred coats my entire being. They've been getting worse the past few days.

More yelling. More hitting. And so many more scars. I pull my sleeves down just a bit more.

Ever since they found out what happened with Cole, they've been out for blood. I should've known the police wouldn't be able to handle Cole. He must have bribed them and was out of jail the very next day.

He came for me at my parents' house, but I was spending the night at Matt's. Cole got super irritated by that and took out his anger on Brett, my father. The bruises on Brett's face were insanely satisfying to me. But I knew what was coming next...

"I think I'll leave now, Miss G,"

I felt so much heavier than when I walked into the office. I had weekly meetings with her ever since someone reported my scars, and they always ended with me feeling worse.

"You'll have to talk to someone Kiara, or you'll end up even worse," she said sympathetically.

I burst out laughing at that. I laughed till I had tears in my eyes. I sounded hysterical and crazy but I kept on laughing. Because if I didn't, I'd start crying.

"Me? Get worse? I'm already at rock bottom."

I knew she was right to some extent, but I was a bit different from everyone else she talked to. Her lips shook with the effort it took her not to start crying. That was just the cherry on top. I lifted my hood and put on my backpack.

"See you next week, Miss G,"

I scoffed lightly as the door shut behind me. School counsellors were seriously the last people to talk to sometimes. Now I felt sorry for breaking down in front of her. I wonder how she'd react if she knew everything about me.

I lifted my sleeves a little and felt the ladder like scars that were all over my arms. They were freshly new, one day old, in fact. My parents were the ones to thank. They were also to thank for all the other scars.

"Gods, I wonder why this still happens to me," I hiccoughed, tears streaming down my cheeks.

I went up the fire escape and got to the roof. It was almost three o'clock and I was sure everyone had left the school. My arms were tingling, my back hurt, and I felt like throwing up.