I keep forgetting it, every so often I would need to remind myself. If it weren't for the fact that I love you, why do I have to feel violated by you.
I know what I am and don't need u to tell me about my worst fears, if it weren't for your company, I would have let u go.
You erode the walls I put up and you let the waves crash me as you watch me drown.
But I fight back, I float long enough to find another wreakage to hold on to. You shake it till I lose my grasp and you watch the crashing waves once again.
And I let you, I know what you are doing but I let you. I don't know why. Maybe because I have crossed your line, maybe because I am afraid to lose you, maybe because I need you more than you need me.
I yearn for your absence yet when you are not there, I think of you, I call unto you, I need you closer to feel safe, to feel protected. From myself and everyone else. when you scream to me "lies, unloved, do not matter" I believe you.
And since i've given my all to you, I cannot hear what others have to say. Whether good or bad. I'm devoted to you yet remain unaccustomed.
If you are pain, then i'm addicted to the suffering.
If I were to die by your hand, will I breathe my last with relief or despair.
