Blue Fire

12 | Cold As Ice

Nicole

I made a mistake.

I shouldn't have ditched my friend, who also happened to be my ride. There were no cabs in this place, and I realized too late that I left my phone at the Connors.

Shit!

I really should stop being so impulsive sometimes.

The heels of my sandals thudding on the sidewalk as I walked were the only sounds accompanying me in the street. The neighborhood was a wealthy one, and apart from the few luxury cars that zipped past me once in a while, it was totally silent.

It was dark now, and lights from the properties and the street bulbs glowed with sophisticated elegance. Even the air tasted fresher here. Trees surrounded some of the properties, providing privacy and decor.

The air was chilly now, and I wrapped my arms around my torso as a gust of cool wind blew against my bare back.

What was I running away from?

Travis, of course.

I really wanted to see him again. I wanted us to cross paths. I wanted to get to know him. And now we're here. And I'm fucking running like a scaredy cat? Why?

That's because you didn't expect this intensity.

Intensity, how interesting, I thought with a rueful smile. Just a touch, and I'd almost fallen apart. Just a glance, and my heart was threatening to explode.

They always say, Be careful what you wish for.

I'd wished for him to be in my life, and now I was afraid I couldn't handle it. Was it because I was embarrassed he saw that ugly scar?

Maybe. On the real side, that thing could be a total turnoff.

I'd wished for love during those lonely nights when I laid in bed listening to love songs. I wanted someone to hold my hand when things got tough. Someone to believe in me. Look at me like I was the only person they saw. Tell me everything'll be alright. I'd secretly yearned for that magical experience people gushed so much about.

So why am I backing away? There must be a bigger, more definite reason apart from that scar.

What exactly am I running from?

You're afraid you wouldn't be enough for him.

You're afraid you're reading too much into things, and you'll be looking like a fool in the end. You hate looking like a fool. You've looked like a fool enough already to last you a lifetime.

He probably doesn't even like you like you do him.

That guy is way out of your reach, and you know you'll be shattered if it doesn't work out.

Because you've never felt this way about anyone before.
Not even Colin.

It was so accurate that I paused on the sidewalk, pressed a hand to my nervous stomach, and let the truth dawn on me.

Travis Connor had the power to hurt me real bad, and I couldn't allow it. My pride couldn't let him. I had to protect myself and squish these growing feelings effective immediately before a disaster occurred.

No sooner had I thought about this did his black Lexus pull to a stop where I stood. The driver's window rolled down, and he waved my phone at me. "Get in!"

"I'm fine with walking!" I called back and resumed walking. I heard him swear as he drove slowly alongside me.

"You can't walk all the way home, and you don't have your phone to order a ride. Let me."