The Fault In Reality

Chapter Thirty-One

"Is this the horse your father was worrying about?"

The voice is sharp, one I haven't heard in a long time. I twist on Devany's back, and there she is.

"Mom?"

I don't know why it sounds like a question, because evidently she's right there... standing casually at the far end of the pasture, a hand splayed over her eyes to block the setting sun. There's a loose smile on her face, a wobbly twitch in her expression.

"Oh, Era. You're riding again," she says. Tears have spilled from her shimmering eyes and are trailing down her cheeks and chin. But her grin is bigger than ever; her lips lift off her whitened teeth in an earnest smile, so different from the tight-lipped ones I'd grown accustomed to in the past year.

I lean back and Devany halts, curls in her head to get a good look at my mom. His ears flicker uncertainly, nostrils unfolding to snatch her scent from the breeze. His mouth works as though she's a bit of grass he's sampling. I guess he must decide he likes her, because the black ears flip forwards and he nickers a greeting.

I smile at his reaction and give him a nudge in her direction. He moves off my heel the moment I touch him. In some ways he's sensitive beyond what's good for him, but it's times like these I have to marvel at the instant response he has to my cues.

By the time we get to my mom she's wiped the tears from her face, but her smeared makeup remains an uncomfortable reminder. Mascara and eye shadow have been smudged around her nose, giving her a tired appearance.

"Hey mum," I say, "meet Devany."

She nods, lips twitching with all she wants to say. But instead of speaking, she merely reaches up and brushes Devany's forelock to one side, like she used to do with Eclipse.

"Your father made it sound as though he was dangerous, some kind of bronco," she says. Her neutral mask dissolves when Devany nibbles at her fingers, and an affectionate look takes over, softens her eyes and hollows her cheeks.

"He was," I say. It's so strange to see her here, more so when I run my gaze over her attire. A simple, flowered blouse, some jean shorts... no purse, no business heels, and, most foreign of all, no beeping phone to call her back to work.

"Era... you look wonderful. How are feeling?" she says.

She lets the word 'feeling' hang in the air for a while, an eyebrow quirked lightly over her brow. I look away, run a sigh through the breeze. Again I think of Eclipse, and her apparent presence in the pasture. My emotions have unraveled inside me. I feel detached, in a way, as though I can grasp any thread - anger, sorrow, guilt - and take it for my own.

I don't. I meet my mother's stare, and with Eclipse still fresh in my mind, I say,

"I'm alright. I am all right."

My mom's eyes flicker with something I can't even begin to discern. She nods, gives me a meaningful look, and withdraws from the fence.

"I'll wait for you in the car," she says. "Your father, Pat, and Chase are back from the hospital. You'd better say goodbye."

"Pat?" I echo. Devany must feel my confusion and uncertainty, because he draws himself up with a toss of his head and a jerk of his neck. His dark coat gleams under the sun, and his tightened muscles play stipples of light between their knolls.

My mom shrugs, already halfway to the car. Her tanned legs flash purposefully out from under her. As she walks a strand of her hair makes a rather daring escape from its bun. I watch it flit in the wind, watch her disappear into a green car parked haphazardly in the driveway.