wait for it

no regrets

"Do you have an ounce of regret about anything in your life, Stacie? Because there's definitely some things that you should be ashamed to say you've done." Beca snapped. I shook my head and smiled. "No, Rebeca, there's nothing I truly regret. Well, maybe asking you out. That was one of my biggest regrets, but it still doesn't keep me up at night. Anyway, what do you mean, there's things I should be 'ashamed to say I've done'?"

Beca scoffed and stared at me. "You really don't know? Stacie, honey, you've had quite the reputation over the years. Like, sleeping with every guy on the football team in high school just to hide that you were gay. Or maybe that you got caught in possession of alcohol when you were twelve that you were trying to give to a girl in college you thought was pretty so you were in juvenile detention for a week."

"Bec. I have no regrets. And you've done worse to end up in juvie before now. Anyway, if you're only here to list things you think I should regret, then you can fuck off."

"I'm just saying that you've done plenty of things to ruin your life. Maybe you should do things to improve it."

"Okay, okay. Yeah, I have reasons to be full of regret but I haven't done anything bad enough to leave a long term impact on you, so keep out of it."

"Whatever. I shouldn't care about you. I have more important things to do."

"Then don't."

Beca looked hurt, but she stood up and nodded. "If that's what you want. I'm sorry I still love you." She blurted out before running out of my dorm.

I lay back on my bed and cried quietly. "I fucked up. I fucked this up. Now I've lost my best friend. Fuck. Fuck!" I cried. Cupcake wasn't even in my dorm to comfort me, nor was Amy or even Chloe.

I ran to Aubrey's room once I cleaned myself up, and she seemed really proud of herself for whatever reason.

"What's put a spring in your step this morning, Aubrey?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

She grinned and sat down, inviting me to sit beside her. "Beca came around and told me how much she hated me for tearing you away from her. So I told her what I thought about it and she ran off crying."

I raised my eyebrows and gasped. "You did what? Aubrey, how fucking dare you?!" I yelled. She frowned and seemed confused. "What? I was defending myself."

"That's like if I screamed at Chloe, you'd be pissed. God, you're actually unbelievable. I thought I was about to forgive you, I thought I was ready. I'm clearly just gullible."

"But I love you, we're a thing now. We literally-"

"No, Aubrey, stop. Put whatever we had aside. I'm on Beca's side in this. Because, three years ago, I had a mad crush on her, and I loved her so much, and clearly a bit of me still does. I fucking adore you, but she's the closest person to me and for you I pushed her away, so I'm done. I've got a 5'2" brunette to go and apologise to, and you have some serious issues you need to sort out. You're never satisfied, are you?"

"What the fuck do you mean, I'm not satisfied? I love you, Stacie, and I'd be willing to push away Chloe for you. You and I are the same. I had a thing for my best friend too, and I never accepted it nor did I act on my intentions."

"I did though. I asked her out and she rejected me, like you, then we just had a couple of flings and my crush died down."

"Still, if anyone isn't satisfied, it's you. You want someone to love you but you obsess over one person and when you finally have an opportunity to get with them, it's not enough."

"Get fucked! You'd be enough for me if you were less of a stuck up, bitchy pain in my ass! I love Beca more than anything, and right now, I want to know that she's okay. So, we're done for now. Beca has some issues and God only knows what she's done."