it was pitch black, the middle of the night, harry wasn't sure why he'd woken up. he stared at the bedside table, blinking slowly, confused. it soon became clear what had disturbed him.
the bed shook, harry couldn't place it at first but quickly figured it was the body beside him fidgeting. maybe simon was just uncomfortable? when it didn't stop he worked up the energy to roll over and tell simon off for waking him.
when he did roll over though, whatever he was going to say to simon slipped away. the sheets were a mess, the pillows a mess. simon was a mess. asleep still, but sweating, shaking, hyperventilating.
harry sat up instantly, calling simon's name and reaching out to him. he grabbed simon's bare shoulder to shake it, it was warmer than he expected.
'simon, si, simon! hey!' simon unconsciously tried to pull his body away from harry's hand. harry brought his other one to simon's further shoulder and shook again. 'wake up, simon, c'mon!'
simon woke up with a harsh flinch and threw his arms up to hit whatever was in front of him, not realising it was his boyfriend. luckily, harry caught simon's forearms before they made contact. simon blinked rapidly.
'harry? harry! i'm sorry- i didn't- i didn't know- you-' simon could hardly speak, his chest heaving. harry shushed him, knowing simon didn't try to hit him purposefully.
'shhh, it's okay. i know, baby, i know.' harry didn't mean to call him baby, they didn't really do pet names, but it just came out and he didn't correct it. simon's eyes were glassy and unfocused, near heaving as harry practically held him up by his arms.
harry pulled him up properly, leaning against the headboard, and worked with simon to calm his breathing out. he'd never seen simon like this. panicked, hyperventilating, close to tears. harry's heart hurt.
'nightmare?' harry asked once simon's breathing had calmed slightly. he couldn't stop shaking, harry rubbed his arm trying to soothe him.
'yeah.' simon sighed, he didn't let harry make eye contact with him, feeling pathetic. it was like harry knew what he was thinking, he tilted simon's chin up, forcing him to look at him. simon apologised. 'i'm sorry i woke you.'
harry shook his head dismissively. 'i was awake anyway.' he lied. he didn't want simon to feel guilty over things he couldn't control. he's glad simon woke him up anyway, so he could help. simon nodded, not really believing him. 'do you want to talk about it?' harry asked, moving his hand to cup simon's cheek. simon shook his head and harry smiled sadly at him.
'can you...' simon cleared his throat. 'can you just hold me?' harry nodded and wrapped his arms around simon, pulling him down on top of him, simon let out a wet laugh. 'and can you...' his voice was muffled in harry's chest but harry could still tell he was nervous. he loosened his arms and simon lifted his head, resting his chin on harry's chest. they looked at each other. simon swallowed.
'can you call me baby again?' he whispered, biting his lip nervously once he'd said it. harry's hands moved to simons hair and combed their way through it. he smiled down at simon and nodded.
'of course i can, baby.' simon rested his cheek on harry's skin and tucked his arms under his body.
'thank you.' harry rubbed circles on simon's back, his shaking had finally subsided. 'you can go back to sleep.' simon offered, content with laying on harry whilst he slept.
'i'm okay.' harry said, wrapping his legs around simon and locking his ankles. 'we can just lay here.'
and they did. they stayed up talking in that position until it started to hurt, and then they moved so harry was sat against the headboard with simon's back to his chest, and they kept talking. until the sun came up.
when harry's alarm went off, meaning to wake them up for a more sidemen recording, harry switched it off. when simon turned his head in question, harry simply said 'we overslept.' threw his phone out of reach, and kissed the top of his boyfriends head.
