inspired by sidemen among us cooking challenge
TW self harm
simon didn't really think much of it at first. it wasn't unusual for someone to injure themselves whilst filming, especially harry. when simon spotted him at the sink washing blood from his fingers with a box of plasters to the side he'd assumed it was an accident. why would he have assumed otherwise? he continued through the video with barely a second thought. it wasn't until they were on their way out that he asked harry about it.
'what happened?' he nodded to harry's plastered finger whilst he held the corridor door open for him. harry followed the nod and shook his head dismissively, waiting for simon to close the door behind him before walking further.
'oh, it's nothing.' simon fell into step with harry and watched harry twist his injured hand in front of him, showing off how minor the injury was. 'our team was getting a bit boring, you know how it is.' harry sped up so he could push the elevator button first but he didn't need to, simon had slowed to a stop.
'what do you mean?' simon asked, unsure if it was what he thought. his tone should've tipped harry off that there was a wrong answer to the question but he just shook his head, unbothered and unaware.
'nothing was happening. no content.' harry shrugged, looking back at simon briefly. 'the imposter wasn't really doing anything, so, y'know?' the doors dinged open and harry walked in, turning around to be met with simon's furrowed brows.
'what?' harry asked, confused. simon shook his head in disbelief and made his way into the elevator before it shut him out. he didn't turn to the doors, he let them close behind him and stayed facing harry.
'so...' simon started, making sure he had harry's attention. 'you did it on purpose?' his voice was steady, expression unreadable as he waited for harry's response.
'i guess? i dunno.' harry brushed it off again, not understanding, and hit the button for the ground floor. 'why?'
'you cut yourself on purpose?' simon asked slowly, hoping he make it clear what he was saying; what harry had done.
'not like that, god.' harry finally realised what simon was implying and rolled his eyes. he turned away from simon and defended his actions. 'it was just for the video.'
'you're cutting yourself for content now?' simon moved himself so he was in front of harry again and raised an eyebrow.
'don't make it like that, simon. you know what i mean!' harry pushed simon away, annoyed at the accusation and hit the ground floor button again. the elevator still hadn't moved.
'do i, harry? you cut yourself! i'm not sure you know what you mean!' simon raised his voice slightly and positioned himself in front of the buttons. he grabbed harry's arms to stop him from turning or pushing again and harry's face scrunched up in annoyance.
'get off!' harry pulled his arms away and crossed them over his chest protectively. 'it's not like you've never done something like that for a video.'
'actually, harry, no.' simon took a step towards harry. 'i don't cut myself for videos.' harry shoved him away, a bit harsher than he intended. he was annoyed by what simon was saying.
'whatever. i'm not having this argument.' harry slammed his fist into the ground floor button and the elevator spluttered. their arms shot out for balance as the room shook. the lights dimmed and the elevator stilled. harry scoffed in disbelief, pressing the 'open doors' button hoping it would do something. it didn't. he struck the button again.
'you absolute piece of shit!' he hit it again. and again. and again. again. again.
'enough!' simon's hand against the buttons caught harry's fist and pushed it away. harry turned around with the momentum and shook his hand out. it was red. simon didn't speak to him, they were both frustrated. with the situation and each other. simon leant back with his hands on the bar and watched harry carefully as he paced around the small space.
harry crouched down to the floor and messed his hair up with his hands. he did it a bit too rough for simon's liking but he refrained from chiding him. he let him have a moment. harry stood abruptly and went to the buttons again, pressing the emergency one (a lot gentler than he'd hit the others) it lit up, acknowledging it had been used and harry huffed out a sigh. he moved to the back corner of the elevator and sunk down to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest. he finally let his attention fall to simon.
'look.' he started, the annoyance still lingering. he looked away, he couldn't look at simon right now. he could feel simon's eyes on him and resorted to playing with his fingers as a distraction. 'i don't want to fight with you.'
'we're not fighting.' simon was calm and still. harry flicked his eyes to him quickly before looked away again, prompting simon to keep going. 'i just want you to understand what you did, harry.'
'it wasn't like that, simon. honest!' harry tried to convince him. it didn't work. 'it was just for the video.'
'i don't care if it was for the king of fucking england, harry! you can't do that.' simon pushed himself off of the bar and crouched down in front of harry, taking his hands between his own. harry finally let himself meet simon's eyes for more than a moment and he immediately felt guilty.
'please don't hurt yourself on purpose.' harry wondered if simon's eyes were glassier than usual or if the dimmed light was playing tricks on him.
'i didn't mean it like that, simon, i swear.' he wasn't really sure how he meant it in all honestly, but seeing the hurt expression on simon's face stung more than the cut on his finger. however he had meant it, it wasn't worth it. 'i'm sorry.'
simon nodded and moved a hand to harry's face, stroking his cheek softly before pulling harry to his shoulder and holding him there. harry let his hands snake around simon's middle and relaxed with simon's arms wrapped around him.
'i didn't mean to worry you.' harry mumbled into simon's shoulder and simon held him tighter. 'i didn't think, i'm sorry.'
'i know.' simon reassured him, rubbing circles on his back. they held their embrace for awhile.
when the lights eventually flickered back on, they pulled away from each other. simon left a kiss on harry's forehead on the way up. the doors opened.
'we'll talk about this properly when we get home, okay?' simon took harry's hand and pulled him out of the elevator so the doors couldn't shut them in again. harry nodded reluctantly and squeezed simons hand. simon squeezed back and pulled harry to the stairs.
