My Healing Forever

CHAPTER 7

The night had finally arrived, and thank God my friends were already asleep. I kept thinking about Irene, wondering if she was at the toilet again this time.

Oh my God, did I just tell my friends that I'm in love with her? Already?

Am I really in love?

It had only been a short time, and our interaction was minimal.

Then how could I say I'm in love?

I shook my head, shoving away that thought. I quickly grabbed my jacket and went straight to the nurse's toilet.

I hoped I would see her again tonight.

My heartbeat quickened as I approached the toilet door. 'Please let me see her tonight,' I begged in my mind.

As I got closer, I saw the door was slightly open. I took a deep breath before finally opening it.

There she was, Irene, the same girl I saw last night. Her eyes were swollen from crying. She turned to look at me, slightly surprised.

I don't know why, but my body just moved, and I slowly sat down next to her. It hurt to see her in this state. She was able to handle her work professionally, but when she's at this toilet, the pain in her eyes was all I could see.

"Why are you here?" she weakly asked.

"To see you," I replied, looking at her directly.

I don't know where this bravery came from, but I wanted to be honest with her. It felt right to be expressive.

She looked away and leaned her head on her hugged knees.

I saw the pills again beside her.

I was hesitant to ask about her health, but my curiosity won. "Those pills... so you have PTSD?" I asked.

She looked at me expressionless. I immediately regretted asking. "Uh, n-nevermind."

We sat in silence.

"It all started when I saw my step dad beating my mother to death," she began.

"My mother told me to stay inside my room, but I guess I was hard headed at that time, I wanted to help her but all I could do was watch her in pain, I saw my drunk stepfather doing something terrible to her."

"If... if I had just listened to my mom, would I be feeling okay right now?" Her voice trembled, and her mouth quivered. I felt more guilty for asking.

Desperately wanting to ease my guilt, I patted her back. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that."

She let out a cry. I hated myself for causing her pain. Hesitantly, I wrapped my arm around her. "I'm so sorry for asking you that, and I'm sorry for not asking before wrapping my arms around you. Just let me do it this time," I whispered.

I gently guided her head to my shoulder, letting her lean on me. I didn't mind my fast-beating heart; she needed someone, and I wanted to be there for her.

We stayed in that position, leaning against the cold wall. She calmed down, leaning on my shoulder, while I stared at the floor.

A few minutes passed, and I noticed her peacefully sleeping on my shoulder. Gosh, can I say again that she's so beautiful?

I couldn't stop staring at her. I didn't know how many hours passed, but I didn't wake her. Her eyes needed rest. So, we stayed there for a few more hours. I couldn't sleep; I'd rather admire her beauty with open eyes.

I kept thinking, was I really in love with her?

I couldn't answer my own question. I still had doubts, I guess.