Monday 23rd of October 2023
Funerals in my family were always strange. No one cried, no one showed emotions, and no one talked. It was weird to be here with Sloan holding my hand as I walked to the casket. I was the only one doing it after the priest had told us we could go there to grieve. My family didn't like to show emotions, let alone feel them.
I put my hand on the casket and whispered "to the blue skies and back," then took the flower Sloan was handing me and put it on it. We turned back and went to our place, leaving the casket with its lonely flower and its only words being the last line of the poem I had given my grandma when I was ten.
No one else went to the casket.
When we walked out of the church, my grandfather was waiting for me. He looked disappointed as he said, "I always knew you had a thing for men."
I stopped on the spot and sighed. "Do you really want to have this conversation right now?"
"I do, actually," he answered, stepping closer with his cane as if he was trying to threaten me. I was twice as big as he was, and even if he had once been strong enough to carry both my brother and I on his shoulders, he was no more what he had been.
"Fine. I do have a thing for men, and you can't talk or beat it out of me, because it's not a choice. There, you happy now?"
"You have what?" asked my mother in her cold and distant tone. Her eyes were filled with horror as she watched me and Sloan, one after the other, then the other after one.
"I am gay," I announced.
I had always thought I would stay closeted, because it was just easier, and because I didn't want to give a reason for my brother to abuse me some more, but now it wasn't just me in front of my entire family anymore and I didn't feel like lying anymore.
My brother's laugh broke the silence. He walked closer to me and looked at me with disdain. "I knew it."
The accumulation of anger, grief, rage and sadness pushed me over the limit. I hit him across the face. "And did you fucking know that?" I spat.
He had fallen on his ass and was holding his bleeding nose like he would a broken arm.
"Dear god," Sloan let out, grabbing my shoulder and pressing it as if it would make me less enraged. "Char, let's go."
He grabbed onto my shoulder and pulled me to his car.
YOU ARE READING
The Colours of Us
RomanceChar is closeted. He always has been and is convinced he always will be. He is cynical, and keeps his secrets close to him in fear that his brother would destroy him.
