The Colours of Us

Chapter 11

Tuesday 31st of October 2023

I hadn't seen Sloan in four days, and it was getting a little bit lonely.

On the other hand, I had finally bought a bed and wasn't sleeping on the bean bag anymore. But it didn't feel half as good as holding Sloan's hand while we watched a movie. I missed him. And it was sickening. I couldn't miss someone I had never had. Couldn't miss someone who was never mine.

I sighed and sat up on the mattress, pressing my hands to my eyes. I had done everything I could think of to sleep. I had read a book, watched a movie, thought of nothing but my breathing, I had even masturbated which was so rare I could count on one hand the number of times I had done it in the last three months.

I couldn't think of anything else to do. Couldn't think of anyone to talk to. Except for Sloan, but he hadn't texted me in a long time and I couldn't bring myself to get rejected. Had he understood that it was him I liked, or was he just disgusted at the idea that I liked a man?

I was about to lay back down when a powerful knock came from the front door of my apartment.

I stood and went to it, surprised to see no one in the peephole of the door. I opened anyway, only to find Sloan crouching in front of my door.

"What the fuck?" was my first reaction.

"Can I borrow your bathroom? I feel like taking a shower."

I nodded, "Of course."

I helped him stand and took him with me to the bathroom.

"Do you want me to stay just in case?" I asked with a blush as I took out a towel for him.

He was very obviously drunk, his voice was deeper than usual, as if he had just woken up, and his eyes were glossed over and half shut.

"You wanna take a shower with me?" he asked with a frown.

"That's not what I meant," I answered, but he wasn't listening, he was muttering something I couldn't understand.

"Alright," he grumbled.

He grabbed the hem of his hoodie and took it off, taking his shirt off at the same time and showing his chest, chiselled and pale, with two scars under his pectorals. I frowned and was about to ask how he had gotten these when he started to take off his jeans and I turned around just before he pulled them down, surely taking his underwear off at the same time.

"Damn, I forgot to take off my shoes," he muttered.

"Do you need help?"

"If you don't wanna take a shower with me, then leave," he ordered, pushing me towards the door.

"Alright," I sighed, "Scream if you need anything."

I closed the door behind me and rested against it for a long moment, until the water started running.

I went to the living room and sighed, sitting on the bean bag. Sloan Joakim was taking a shower in my bathroom. Was in my bathroom, taking a shower, naked. Sloan Joakim was basically naked in my apartment.

I needed to stop imagining him naked. I needed to stop trying to think about what he would look like in my bed, wet and vulnerable.

"Char?"

I stood up so fast I felt my blood rush to my head and my field of vision was stained with black spots. I went to the bathroom anyway, "Yes?"

"I need clothes."

"Right away."

I went to get clothes about as fast as I could. So fast that I almost slipped and fell in the hallway.

I took one of my shirts, underwear and a pair of sweatpants and went to give them to Sloan. He had barely gotten dressed when he came out of the bathroom and let himself rest against my chest.

"'Am tired," he mumbled against my shoulder. "Sleep."

I took him to my bed and was about to go sleep in the living room when he grabbed my hand and pulled me next to him without a word. I wanted to stay and leave both at the same time, so I didn't think and I let Sloan Joakim nuzzle against my chest and breathe me in. I let him grab me by the waist and intertwin his legs with mine. I let him do anything he wanted because he was the only one who had ever tried and the only one I could have ever thought of letting him settle against me like that.

Despite my heart beating too fast and my hands trembling against his back, it was the best night I had ever had.