Taqdeer - A Hum Tum Fan-Fiction

Chapter 7 - Maazi

Flashback

It had been one month since Neha and Sarim's Nikkah and they had come to Germany only two days back and Sarim hadn't let her do any of shifting / setting up chores. He did it all himself and just asked Neha to sit comfortably and supervise. Though Neha had been skeptical about Sarim ever since she had found out that her father was considering him as a suitor for her, this past month had been the best month of her life so far. Just a month post the Nikkah, she felt more than reassured that her father had made the right decision for her.

Sarim, who Neha and Adam referred to as 'Clock tower' had suddenly stopped caring about being punctual, rather, overly punctual. He let Neha take her own time with things and stopped annoying her with his robotic time-table with regard to getting tasks done. He cooked for her everyday, the newly weds spent quality time together and it was all perfect.

Neha felt on top of the world. Post-marriage, Neha had started to discover the more feminine side of her personality, that had started making appearences more frequently, all thanks to Sarim. Neha had always payed attention to her appearance and made sure that she looked presentable at all times. Nowadays however, she had developed a liking for red, pink and orange shades of fabrics. She also started to wear clothes that were more well-fitted, post the wedding and also investing some time in picking out matching jewellery with each outfit and also putting on some make-up.

Neha was amazed at all the changes that she was witnessing within herself. Was she really the same girl who thought make-up was a waste of time? "Well, the things you do for your pasandida mard!", She thought to herself, as a light smile automatically appeared on her face.

Sarim: Hello beautiful! How was your day?

Neha: Hello, handsome! Aap ko kya lagta hai, kaisa rahaa hoga mera din aapke baghair? Bohot boring tha

Sarim: Mera din toh bohot busy tha... back to back classes thi... but unn classes mein bhi main apni khoobsoorat Biwi ke baare mein hee soch raha tha.. You know, bohot see ladkiyaan thi mere piche, but I chose you and changed myself for you.. tum vaqai mein bohot lucky ho..

Neha: Haan.. lucky toh main hoon (Neha spoke while trying to process whatever he had just said.. There was something a little off about what he had just said, but she couldn't pin-point what)

Sarim: Achcha.. vah sab chodo.. yeh dekho mein tumhaare liye kya laaya hoon.. (*hands her a small velvet covered box*)

Neha: Wow! These earrings are so pretty, Sarim! But they must be really expensive, kya zaroorat thi inki abhi?

Sarim: Zaroorat kase nahi thi? Germany mein humaari zindagi ki nayi shuruvaat ho rahi hai, voh shuruvaat ek taufe ke saath karna zaroori tha. Jab kiwi itni khoobsurat hai, toh taufaa bhi toh utna khoobsurat hona chahiye naa.. Besides, ab tum Sarim Bin Jaabir ki biwi ho, toh aise expensive taufo ki aadat daal do!

Present Day

It was yet another sleepless night that Neha had spent in trying to make sense who her husband Sarim really was. It was another night of her replaying her previous interactions with him in her head and, trying to make sense of them. She had known him for over two years now, but somehow, it still felt like she knew nothing about him. She thought while she sat in her bed with her head resting between her knees and tears rolled down her cheeks. Sarim was confusing to say the least. After a lot of internal turmoil and self-doubt, she had decided to fly back to Karachi, yet every single day, she would wonder whether she had made the right decision and if she was over-reacting. Her desi upbringing had taught her that marriage was a compromise and that she was bound to have to make adjustments. The Neha that was once over-confident and borderline selfish, now felt washed over by guilt even when she took a stand for herself that was well deserved.

Today, when she spent some time with Adam, after almost 2 years, she felt a sense of peace and comfort being who she really was, around him. It was probably the first time in the last two years that she had actually smiled heart-fully. That is when it hit her for probably the thousandth time, that she never for once felt that kind of peace and comfort around Sarim, ever, even though her relationship with him had grown to become a lot more emotionally intimate, over the years. No matter how much she tried to, she couldn't deny that she would have to think a lot before she expressed herself in front of him, to the point that she rehearse sentences in her head before she actually said them out loud and constantly worry about how he would react to what she had said.

'There wasn't anything THAT bad about him, Abba chose him for me, how can he be the wrong one for me?No one can be perfect, All of us humans are flawed, If I don't understand where my husband is coming from, who will?!'

The chain of thoughts quickly followed, almost as if they were trying to compensate for thinking that he was a bad person.

Neha Qutubuddin was going through the same confusing spiral, yet again, until it got so exhausting that she finally fell asleep at dawn.

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