Taqdeer - A Hum Tum Fan-Fiction

Chapter 12 - Dast

She touched her forehead to his and took a few deep breaths in order to process what she had just heard and they stayed in that position for a minute or so. Their breaths intermingled and Adam wiped her tears with his left thumb while his right hand was secured lightly around her waist. Adam was in a trance yet again. He felt vulnerable and hurt seeing the girl he loved fight her battles, he just wanted to protect her, at all costs. She was physically so close to him right now that a part of him just wanted to capture her lips and tell her that he could give her everything that her disgusting husband couldn't, and much more. Just as he firmed his grip on her waist a little, he felt Neha wince slightly under his touch and that was enough for his trance to break. He quickly pulled back and took a deep breath. He then got up and poured some water for Neha from the jar that lay on trolley table next to the bed.

A: Yeh lo, paani pee lo.., he said while handing the glass to her.

A: Doctor ne tumhe discharge kar diya hai.. toh chalein ghar? Hira aur Umer bhi maye hai.. bahaar wait kar rahe hai. Neha took a deep breath after gulping down her water. In the meanwhile Adam texted Qutub, telling him not to worry and that that they would be home in a while.

Then Adam held out his hand with a friendly smile, just in-case Neha needed his support. She stood up after putting her hand into Adam's and both of them walked out of the hospital room.

N: Thank you, Adam., Neha mumbled, while Adam acknowledged her gesture, with his eyes.

After meeting Neha, Umer and Hira went back home with their driver, while Adam and Neha were on their way home in Adam's car. Since the weather in Karachi was breezy that night, Adam had kept the windows down and there was no music playing on the stereo. It was a silent and peaceful ride back home.

Adam had stopped the car in front of the Qutub Mahal. Just as he was getting out, to open the passenger side door, Neha spoke.

N: Adam, Voh..

A: Haan Neha..? Bolo Naa..

N: Kya hum thodi der yahaan lawn mein baith sakte hai, jaise college time mein baithte the?

A: Sure..

Adam said while getting up and then opened the passenger side door for her.

It was pretty late at night and all the lights in the Qutub Mahal were turned off.

Adam and Neha settled down on the bench in the lawn and soaked in the mesmerising sight of a full-moon on a breezy night.

N: Maine.. Maine bohot koshish ki iss sach ko chhupaane ki, iss sach se bhaagne ki, par mujhse nahi ho paa raahaa ab. My marriage with Sarim has been very.. very toxic. its not like he would physically assault me or force me into sex, but he would try to control me in a hundred small ways, every single day. Itna ki kabhi kabhi mujhe lagta tha ki maar peet leta toh mein bardaasht kar leti mein, but yeh nahi handle kar paaoongi.

"Yeh mat khaao", "Voh mat pehno", "Padhaai ka kya hai, humaari relationship tumhaari priority honi chahiye" "Khaana theek banaa hai, but Ammi ke haath ki biryani se door door tak koi comparison nahi hai". "Tum pakistaaniyon ko time ki value bilkul nahi pata.. I should have thought twice before marrying a desi ladki.. Mere paas toh kaafi options the yahaan Germany mein".

Roz aise taane milte the, but then he would engage me intellectual discussions about Biochemistry, buy me a lot of expensive clothes, click countless pictures of me without complaining and almost kiss me out of all the emotional abuse that he was putting me through. Now, when I look back I realise that our whole marriage has just been an unending cycle of him hurting me and compensating grandly for the pain he has put me through, so that I don't realise what he is doing to me.

Uske saath Germany mein ek mahinaa guzaarne ke baad hee, I remember feeling this sunken feeling, like something wasn't right, but time and again, I just kept ignoring that feeling and feeling myself that it was all okay. Mujhe bohot see cheezein khatakti thi, but I was always reluctant to share any of these things with Maha, Hira or anyone else, because somewhere inside I knew that I was putting up with a lot of things that were disrespectful and non-negotiable, but I don't know why I did it! You know, I feel so ashamed of myself, I thought I was a modern, empowered woman, par Germany jaakar pata chalaa ki I was just an average Pakistani woman who couldn't find a 'good enough' reason to leave my shauhar, because phir log kya kahenge?

It was like I was constantly trying to convince myself that it wasn't that bad or that maybe I was doing something wrong. I snapped out of it, when a year post our Nikaah, I found out that I was pregnant, out of the blue

Sarim was delighted when he heard the news, but I was terrified. I wasn't emotionally ready for motherhood at all considering the kind of marriage we had. I also had a lot of dreams and ambitions to achieve before I could take on such a huge responsibility, and I had clearly conveyed this to Sarim and he had agreed. However, when I spoke about an abortion, he clearly denied giving me 'permission' for the same. When I put my foot down and told him that I would not have the baby under any circumstances, he literally put me on a house arrest. Whenever he would go out, he would lock the door from the outside, so I wouldn't be able to open it. So, on one of the days when he had gone to work, I packed up and escaped with help from one of my Indian friend Kiara and her husband Vikrant who lived in the neighbourhood. Vikrant was a Gynaecologist, so the abortion process wasn't a problem at all. They also helped me with my tickets back home.

Jab yahaan Karachi aayi toh gharwalon ke bohot sawaal the. Sarim too was trying to sweet-talk me into coming back to Germany, but eventually I blocked him. Jaabir uncle ne bhi kaafi calls ki, mujhe aur abba ko bhi, because he was clueless about what was going on, just like my family was. I went back into a dilemma about whether I was over-reacting, par ab bas!

I want a divorce.

Neha spoke in a pained voice and took a deep breath. Adam had kept his hand over hers, very lightly, in an attempt to provide her with some support. He knew that re-calling all this wasn't easy for her, he also knew that she needed to talk to someone about it, and so he was providing her a safe space to do so. He hadn't said a single word in the last 20 minutes, he hadn't even looked at her, because he didn't want to interrupt her catharsis, no matter what.

Just after Neha had finished speaking, Adam heard someone sobbing. He quickly turned to Neha and realised she had heard the sobs too, because she was already looking at him, because she had thought it was him. However, eventually both of them realised that the sobs were coming from a distance.

Adam and Neha stood up and turned around, almost in sync.

They were shocked at what they saw. Neha felt the anxiety hit her. She immediately felt shivers in her knees and was about to stumble and fall, but Adam caught her firmly by the shoulder.

"A-Aap!", he muttered nervously.

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Hey Guys!

Uploaded a chapter after a long time! Hope you all enjoy it! Thank you so much for your patience! Please let me know what you think about the story so far and also keep your theories about the upcoming twists and turns coming , in the comments!

Lots of love!