The songs of my life

Get distance - Dana Kim

I'm sorry, this chapter is really short, I promise the next one is longer.

As Élise leaves the car Cat starts crying, she feels guilty, she's the one who constantly found excuses to see her, she's the one who wanted to see her smile and she was curious about her, she wanted to know everything...if she was a little bit younger...Élise has a life to live while she, she must be passing though menopause, she'll look old in no time. She can't stop crying.

Friday morning Élise gets up the bed just because she's tired of being on the bed without sleeping, she doesn't feel like doing exercise or having breakfast, he just has a coffee, takes a shower, and gets ready to go to the event they have.

Élise is in the event with Kary and Marine, she doesn't mind, her head is somewhere else; two hours she spends there but she isn't listening, she's like a zombie, she hoped to see Cat and see if they can talk but she never appears, after 2 hours being there, she lost hope. She arrives home and stays on her bed not being able to sleep...

Friday morning Cat gets up because Sorcha wakes her up, she wants food, she's in automatic doing things without being present, she can't stop thinking about Élise and the boy she met at the restaurant, she thinks the correct thing is that Élise spends time with boys and girls her age; there's one event on Friday but she isn't going, she's going to the office to work, she doesn't realize when she took a shower and drive to work but she's suddenly there, in front of her computer; she can't focus at all, she can't work, she can't read, she can't do anything, she remembers how she felt when she broke up with her ex, the worst thing is that she and Élise weren't nothing...how much time is she going to bear that feeling?

It's Saturday and they have a big event, it's another wedding; the last thing Élise and Cat want to see is a happy couple promising living forever and sharing happiness, they weren't happy at all; anyway, Élise arrives with her team, Anne stands before her and greets her but it's fast, she's busy checking things, she remembers she's a wedding organizer. Her mind's still in another place but the worst is that there she is, her crush, the woman dressing formal and stunning as always, smiling to his client, in Élise's eyes Cat looks normal, not affected at all for the distance, Élise thinks Cat gets bored of her, maybe. She wants to cry more but she can't there. The event starts, the lights are off for the bride and the groom entrance, they read the votes; tears fall unintentionally from Élise's eyes, she needs to go out to breath, she needs air. She steps out for a moment, there's no one there, she dries her eyes and breath. When she returns Cat is nowhere to be seen.

It's Saturday, Cat falls from the bed, she doesn't feel like doing anything nor she has the energy, she hasn't slept this past two days, she admits it's her fault...apart, she's listening Sorcha meowing, probably she's missing Élise.

"I miss her too". Cat pats Sorcha.

She attends the wedding, it's one of her oldest friends, Anne organized it, so she has to go, she gets ready to look as normal as possible but inside she was dying. When she arrives Anne greets her, immediately she notices she isn't fine. "Let's talk later". Is all she says. Cat tries to avoid looking at Élise but it's impossible, her eyes look puffy, she's guilty about that, about the state of both. The lights are off, Cat notices Élise wants to cry, after some minutes she walks out and Cat goes after her, she stops behind the wall, again she hides, she hears how she's crying and that breaks her heart even more, Cat needs to go to the restroom, she can't be there, but Anne intercepts her.

"Come". Anne takes her to a room that it looks like a warehouse.

"What's wrong with you too? Don't you think I won't notice you're acting strange?"

"I..." Cat wants to cry. "I can't be with her". She says. Anne hugs her. "What's wrong? If you too like each other what's the problem?" Anne changes her tone of voice.

"Anne, I'm 40, I'm almost in my menopause, or maybe I already am, she's fucking 23, what will happen in the future? Is she going to look after a granny?" Anne hugs her and pats her back.

"Why are you thinking so ahead in the future? This is so unlike you" Anne places her arms on Cat's cheeks so she can look at her. "Maybe it doesn't work, and it's fine, maybe you break up in a few months and that's fine, you'll know that what you two live was beautiful, but you don't need to think unnecessary things".

"So, don't supress your feelings just because of that, I don't want to see you suffer and look at her, she isn't good either". They hug and Cat cries more, some minutes later they return to the event, they can't be far for too long.

The events seem a success, everyone looks happy, they loved the food and the design of the event in general. The teams are preparing to leave, they don't work Sunday and Monday so Élise thinks she has two more days to suffer alone. The teams are talking about going somewhere to have dinner and drinks but Élise just go home, she's walking from the office to her house, she's sure there are more couples than before, she hates them.

After the wedding Cat arrives home, she's dealing with her mind and with a cat who is also meowing more, she doesn't have the energy to play with her, so she let her bite some of her toys, she's thinking about what her friend said, maybe she can live more in the present without thinking about the future, many people do that, there are many couples with age differences but she doesn't care other people, for her it's not so easy, she always thinks things more, she always want to see different possible scenarios.

The weekend was slower than usual for both, they don't sleep not eat a lot, they just stay in their flats not living. Élise remembers the time when she broke up with her ex, her name was Emma, she was beautiful, she reminds her of Avril Lavigne, she was popular, she thinks that was the problem, Emma cheated on her, maybe more than once but she doesn't remember to feel as bad as she's feeling now; they've to talk, she's to know what the problem was...