Afraid•Niccolo Genoveder Rossi •

Thirty

|Serena|

I walked over to him and hugged him goodnight.

It was all I could give him.

The last time I could touch him.

It was better this way, really.

He wasted no time enveloping me into his arms.

"I really thought we were gonna end up together, Serena".

"Don't". I warn.

"What if the baby isn't ours?" Niccolo questions.

"Stop! Just stop! I'm trying to save this! Save us! The baby is yours and I know if you just forget about the .2% chance of us you will be able to enjoy this whole thing!" I exclaim, taking myself out of his arms.

His eyes watered.

"I want to enjoy this, Serena. Believe me. But you know that I can't just erase you, Serena! I'm trying to save us too! Save our whatever type of relationship this is! I need you in my life! We can't be together but we can in another way, I just know!" He exclaimed back at me.

"There isn't! I was just a stupid crush! This whole thing was a stupid flirt battle and we need to grow the hell up and realize that! You're throwing a match at wet grass, Niccolo! You can't rekindle a flame that died." I say, quieting down.

"I love you! What else do I have to say to make you believe me, Serena?" He exclaims.

"It dosen't matter if you love me or not! In this case, it's better if you don't!"

"You know why I love you, Serena? It's because you laugh with actual joy- you smile with the brightest eyes, and don't get me started on everything you do! It's so perfect to me, don't you get it? I'll learn how to say it in thirty different languages! I love you! Everything you do! I couldn't stop staring at you, Serena. When you exist in the same room as me I can't focus! I can't love anything or anyone but you! So when you push me away it hurts! It hurt so bad you don't even know! You have no genuine idea how much I want this to happen,  Serena! But I can't leave the mother of my child, and you know that! But you not being in my life makes it harder for me to love this unborn child and this whole thing! I needed to do this. I need you to understand this, Serena". He exclaims, leaving the silence.

All of this was hard to swallow.

And every word rung like a bell in my head.

He wasn't going to torture me any longer.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Niccolo". I coldly say.

I walk past him, my shoulder bumping his on the way out.

The moment I got to my car I broke down and cried.

Everything is horrible.

Every last thing.

I drove home, blurry tears in my eyes.

I sat down on the edge of my bed, and wiped my eyes.

I needed to prepare myself for tomorrow.

Tomorrow held two unfortunate things.

Two very unfortunate things.

But I wasn't gonna think about them until the time was right.

||The Next Morning||

|Niccolo|

 I didn't sleep that night.

I gave her a whole confession and she didn't budge.

Did I really break her that horribly?