Afraid•Niccolo Genoveder Rossi •

Forty-one

|Serena|

We drove home, and parted ways after that.

Matteo had texted me, he wanted to hang out.

He knocked on the door 30 minutes later.

"Hey Matteo".

"Hey". He says, walking closer to me.

His breath was on my lips.

Something told me to stop.

To not lean in.

Because Niccolo's watching.

But he isn't here.

He's somewhere else.

Matteo picked up on this.

He stepped back.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah."

He kissed my cheek.

I put on a smile, and we sat down on the couch.

"Are you okay, Serena?"

I gulp.

What if I didn't love him?

But why am I stuck here?

Hung up on someone who can't have me.

Or dosen't want me.

Either way, I can't have these feelings.

it's not going to happen.

It's difficult.

What do I tell him?

"Yeah. I'm okay". I finally answer.

His face tightened.

"I think you are in love with someone else". Matteo blurts.

"No!-I"..

"I still love Maria. I thought this would fix it but it really didn't... I sense you are hung up with somebody else".

"I- it's this stupid guy  who treated me like shit and I still haven't gotten over him". I admit.

"I understand, Serena. Maybe another time we'll be able to reconnect but now's not the time for either of us". 

I felt a huge weight off my shoulders.

He understood.

He knew what I was going through and he's perfect.

And I don't love him.

Why can't I love someone who is a good person?

Someone who cares.

And I love Niccolo.

A teen dad.

Who kept me at arms length.

Who made me cry.

Who caused me so much hurt.

But I can't help it.

I want him.

I need  him.

"I'm so sorry, Matteo".

I wanted to cry.

My eyes and throat burned.

He put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay, Serena".

|Niccolo|