The Thread Tied: Red

A New Beginning

"Every ending is the start of a new beginning..."

WHAT A LIE.

Every ending is said to be the start of a new beginning but nobody talks about that beginning being the starting of an end. I guess it is another 'consoling human construct', another lie, they tell each other to keep moving and not falter in the marathon of life.

"CLAT 2021: results announced"

My failure flashed right on my face, however, there were two more faces that had high expectations and hope in me than I had. My parents, especially my father. Belonging to a family with Law Background definitely had its cons, and with that it was my first blow towards the path of my "bright career." I did get a seat in a lower ranking NLU, but my father was adamant on keeping me with him and remaining in the same State not letting me go anywhere else. Teenage dreams down the drain, and all I felt was remorse towards them but now when I think back, it had been by far the best decision made by them and I have purely ... selfish reasons to say that.

And that's how I landed in an All-Women's University carrying a heritage of grooming brides, I'm not the one to say, the NAAC Accredition team did in my First year, and I'll be lying if I said, I wasn't a hell pissed off. All those people who have various complaints and grievances with their colleges, Uni's ... count me in. This place was a jail! No going out, no letting others in, not seeing the world beyond those four walls, surrounded by ex-military guards 24/7.

It was post Diwali I was supposed to join University and the day, hopefully I did have a roommate by my side I knew for a few days now, we talked a lot on calls, chatted and I liked her honestly. I was looking forward to go to another jail from the one I have been living in. Yes, it did feel like one all these years, maybe for most of us, it was. An Indian household isn't everyone's cup of tea.

You wouldn't last a day in the asylum they raised me.

Was I dramatic? Yes, I was. Do I mind? Nope. Will I do it again? Absolutely.

You see, the nature of things and people are same in certain circumstances. One, their value is always realized when they are gone. Two, when you learn to live without them that pain of loss and suffering slowly subdues, and life goes on, and three, both perish with time and no matter how close you are to something or someone, at the end, it all becomes an act of letting go.

Me and my Roomie, Deeya, with two e's, and 5'7 height moved in our shared room 232, hostel 13s3, and it all felt like a run chase, our bags on the floor, almirahs open and too much stuff to even acknowledge. Towards the dusk we both were exhausted with the amount of work done both administrative tasks and all this unpaid labour. Thanks to our mothers, we didn't have to furnish the room by ourselves. I found Deeya's mother talking to a girl for a brief moment but couldn't see her properly.

The time of our good bye' s to our parents came. My parents and I have been on good terms most of the years of my life but we all were pretty bad at showing care expressly for that matter. I knew my mum and younger brother would cry after leaving me here, and my papa wouldn't. I was reassured because I knew he'll console them, but ... who would console him? I hugged him tight.

About my Family, I am closest to my father, then my mother (ups and downs) she has been especially harsh on me since my childhood, and there were times, I really despised her, but I guess we all suffer the same, until we grow up and start seeing her not merely as a mother and more as a married woman with kids and suddenly all the anger and frustration makes so much sense, and you start feeling grief and empathy for her as a woman. Lastly, who likes their own brother? Eww. (try touching a single strand of his hair, and I'll break every finger that came in contact with him)