The Reason Why

Chapter Sixteen

"You what!?" Claire's jaw dropped.

For a while, she forgot to scoop the fries in her hand into her mouth. The tomato sauce dripped twice to her plate, redder than the sudden warmth creeping up to my cheeks. I felt my neck grewing red.

"For God's sake, shut up," I hissed at her, glancing at several students eyeing us with curiosity as they milled around the school cafeteria.

"You and that college guy? Seriously, Kim? You're such a boy magnet aren't you – so quick to catch another fish after losing such a giant hot catch," she sighed.

"Chris is not a giant hot catch!" I renounced, suddenly remembering his perfect frames inclining to me in the dark on my bed – moments before we had our dramatic fight.

"Duh, he is," she shrugged, finally scooping a handful of fries into her mouth, "Sometimes I wonder if you really have taste for hot boys. You've been blessed with one you've grown up with. Not to mention he's head over heels for you, although he's quite a hot-tempered ass."

"Stop it, Claire! Why are you so explicit today?" I huffed and gulped down my orange juice.

"I've always been. Explicit is my middle name," she grinned mischievously, "You're such a good and well-mannered girl that you need someone like me to point out your erotic repressive state. We're basically a yin-yang. Balance is the key to life. You better mark my words."

I choked on my orange juice and sputtered, grabbing a tissue to wipe my mouth. Damn it, Claire. Come to think of it, she's not wrong, though.

"But are you really sure you're done with Chris?" she lowered her voice, questioning me intently with her look, "I mean, I don't want you to be reckless. You gotta think it twice, Kim. You should know what you want. So, what do you want now? Tangled in a love triangle?"

I sighed, "At this rate I'm just concerned with my own life. I need to figure out my future first. Then I'll make up my mind. Ethan did not push me for answers, anyways. He said I'm free to be with whomever I want to be, but he made it clear that he's into me."

"I'm so jealous of you. Two sky guys pursuing after you? One working on astronomy and one aspiring to chase the skies with his future military career? Tell me how to be you, Kim," she grinned.

My shoulders sag, "I wish my life is as simple as your description."

"Then make it simple," she waved her open palms in the airy gesture, "Like you said. You need to know what you want. Which guy do you want?"

I frowned and tilted my head. Need. Want. Which one is more essential?

A light bulb sparked.

"What if... what I want is not what I need?" I said slowly.

Claire groaned and did a face palm, "You know what? Good luck with that complicated mind of yours, Kim."

I broke into a wide smile, well she got a point. Somehow, I feel like there's hope for me. Yes, I need to know what I need. Or else I'm going to turn my own world upside down in this confusion. I need to do something. I need a challenge to figure my shit out.

"Say, do you have information on any paid internship for this summer, before we graduate next semester?" an idea popped into my head suddenly.

"Well–"

"Hey you two! You didn't tell me you guys are heading to the cafeteria after class!" Mike suddenly showed up and plopped himself next to Claire across from me.

His tray was packed with fish and chips, chicken sandwich, a sausage omelette, and orange juice. It's very typical of him to keep eating lots of protein lately since he had been hitting the gym for the last couple of months.