The Reason Why

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

The next morning, Chris left for the hospital and I woke up late on purpose so I could avoid him. I could hear him carrying his bag downstairs and politely thanked Mom for letting him stay. I ignored the growl in my stomach and refused to have breakfast although the scent of toast was creeping up into my room, since the kitchen was located right below me. His voice echoed throughout the house while he chatted with both of my parents. I knew that Mom and Dad could not recognize some forced cheerfulness in his tones, but I was able to sense it each time he laughed. I only could listen to their vague conversation silently. Somehow my ears could make out the most sentences he said.

It dawned on me that there were so many things I didn't knew about his school life. We sometimes texted each other but only talked about howI was doing, what he planned when holiday arrives or about his family. He rarely told me how he was doing at his military academy inMissouri. It turned out that he is a really smart and determined guy.Chris was one out of the four people who succeeded to achieve the scholarship offered by that military academy this year. He also toldDad that he got the highest grade in his class for the football extracurricular and was made as captain of his team. Fortunately, that position gave him a bigger opportunity to enroll in a WorldHistory course held by a prominent college that had some sort of partnership program with his academy. He even mentioned participating in a private pilot program by the end of his senior year to earn his license to fly a plane. Me? I could barely drive a car.

I smiled ironically, comparing his achievements to mine. I remembered my scoring a C- for my Algebra and and a D for Physics. How terrible.Maybe I did not have a target for this semester, unlike Chris. No wonder he was so upset about me not giving an answer to his question last night. Chris must've felt that he already achieved so much until now and saw that our relationship was not in the way for his studies.

I chewed the inside of my cheeks.

To be honest, I felt a little jealous because I've did nothing special in my life. Chris was right. My life is a sad one. All I want was just to achieve something big for me, making my parents proud and tell their friend something like 'hey, you know what? My daughter did this last year...' or some kind of that. I did not want to rush on our relationship because I was afraid that it would take away my chances to do something good with my life. Is this ego?Selfishness? I wonder, was it my fault to say something like that toChris? Was I wrong to say what I had in mind? Gah. I don't know. I don't know! I buried my self deeper beneath the sheets. Thinking about Chris screwed me. And I desperately need some food.

I went down to the kitchen after Chris was gone. I grabbed some quick breakfast, took a shower and went to the garage to take my bike.

"Hey,Honey, you missed Chris at breakfast," my mom called out from her room as I was preparing to leave.

"Yeah.I know," I replied rather curtly.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? You seem to be annoyed," she called out again.

"Nothing, mom," I mounted on the saddle after clicking my bike helmet, "I'm going now. Bye."

Before she could say anything, I stormed off to the road. Part of me felt guilty avoiding Chris, but I couldn't bear to face him. Our conversation last night kept replaying on my mind. I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the sudden lump inside my throat. Maybe we just broke up.

** *

My day was a total mess. It seemed like last night screwed up everything. I left my history textbook on my bed, did not have any idea that there will be a math quiz and totally forgot to bring my lunch. I ended up sitting in the detention room, punished for not paying attention in the class because I kept spacing out for a few times. I was so restless and hungry. The kids in the detention class were really noisy and kind of looking like a bunch of freaks, except that red haired dude who kept throwing me flirty smiles. There were three piercings on his right ear, which made him look like a punk, but I could not deny that he had a good muscular body like Chris'.I pretended not to see anything. I kept glancing on the clock, counting as the seconds went by. Then someone waved from outside the glass door, peeking in and smiling wide. His sandy hair was tousled as if it wasn't combed for days and his electric blue eyes sparkled with glee.