The Way I Loved You ✓

17. The Fault In Our Stars

The Fault in Our Stars is a novel by John Green. The title is inspired by Act 1, Scene 2 of Shakespeare's play Julius Caesar, in which the nobleman Cassius says to Brutus: "Men at some time were masters of their fates, / The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, / But in ourselves, that we are underlings."

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FFANC: Nathan always thought his stars were faulty. That they never brought him anything good.

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Chapter Seventeen: The Fault In Our Stars

“So, Emily, are you single?” Landon McArther asked.

I stared at him in response.

He smiled, “Just curious.”

I looked away. I wished I had a different answer for him, “Yes, I am. I’m single.”

He nodded. We stood against the kitchen counter, glancing at the dimly lit living room in front of us; there were people messing with each other, drinking themselves stupid, dancing like nothing mattered.

“I still think about it, you know.” Landon said softly.

I turned to him slightly. There was a ghost of smile in his face, as if he was reminscing something, “How you defeated me.”

“Oh, that,” It was so long ago, I thought to myself. So much had happened after that.

“Yes. It was quite a moment for me. Nobody had ever done that to me quite like you did, Emily Kingsley.”

He bumped my shoulders with his arm. I laughed. “It was nothing.”

Landon shook his head, “It was quite something. You humbled me in ways more than one.”

I remembered the debate so vividly as if it was yesterday, the shocked faces of everyone as I ended my speech, as Landon realized he would lose, to a beginner like me.

Landon continued, “After that day, I knew we thought at the same wavelength. Like you could really get me.”

“Oh,” I mumbled.

When I looked up at him, he was glancing at me, “Yes. And yet I...”

He sighed.

I glanced away. “How is Violet doing?”

I hoped I got his girlfriend's name right.

“Her best, probably.” he replied like he didn't have any idea.

Trouble in paradise, Leanna's voice floated back to my mind.

“Emily, do you ever think that,” Landon muttered, “we get so scared by something we know just so right for us so we let it get away? If we never had it in the first place, we'd never have to hurt losing it.”

I swallowed the emotion that rose in me. “Yeah.”

“I'm such a coward,” Landon laughed at himself.

He wasn't wrong. We thought in the same wavelength.

“I'll leave.”

He pushed back from the counter and faced me, “Do you need a lift?”

I crossed my arms, “No, thanks. I have to stay. I came with a friend.”

“Oh,” He said and ran a hand through his hair.

Then he started to walk away. But as if remembering something, he turned back, “See you around, Emily.”

I nodded in reply.