What is the art of life? Finding who loves you or knowing who loves you? Believe me you need to know.
So the next day she comes by the store again, And I'm telling myself that this time maybe be friendly with her and see where it leads so without thinking I go and say
"Hi Susan, how's your day?"
And she stood there in front of me like she'd seen a naked man and wondering if she ever told me her name before and that's when I knew any chance I had to get to know her better had drifted away completely and she didn't say anything she just looked at me all confused and just said
"I'll take these and that, how much is it?"
I just felt bad to be honest because she's giving me nothing it's like I don't even exist in front of her and it really feels horrible. So I felt shallow and embarrassed I just gave her the purchases and she left, but before she went out the door she forgot her car keys on the table so I grabbed them and rushed to her and when I called her name she angrily replied back
"Look dude I don't know you I don't like you like that and probably never will"
Before I said anything, I mean how do you reply to that ? Because I couldn't I just showed her the keys and handed them to her and just walked back to the counter. I could tell she was feeling sorry for saying that after giving her the keys but she tried to apologize and you know sometimes it's best if you don't and just leave so she just left.
I hadn't seen her for the next couple days and honestly I felt like I was the reason she wasn't coming by anymore. Jen saw me having a sad face and asked me what was wrong because I've been quiet a lot these days as if I've seen a ghost. I just told her that I was just feeling like some kind of emptiness inside so she offered me a green tea saying that it would make me feel full again we sat down and had a couple of sips and she told me out of nowhere that
"it's okay if the girl you like doesn't like you back it's probably for the best. You can either cry from it or do something about it"
I just looked at her and from that point I knew the reason why Susan wasn't coming back to the store. It was because she told people I was sort of a freak and couldn't keep myself calm around her and she felt uncomfortable around me. At least that's what I thought.
Maybe I should take Jen's advice and do nothing about it, it's for the best. But I didn't feel good thinking I was the reason she's not coming by I had to apologize to her and tell her how sorry I was. So I planned the next time I saw her anywhere that's the first thing I'd do.
A couple of days later she walked in the store I was having a chat with Ashley and she walked up straight and came towards me and asked if we could talk
I kindly agreed to it, and I started by apologizing about the other day, she stopped me before I finished talking and she was saying that she was going through a tough break up and she was sorry for being mean to me on those days she just wasn't feeling good about it. It took me by surprise for a minute I mean the worst days turned out to bring joy to me for a mistake or right thing that I did before, who knew. So she asked if I was okay with things and I said I was, but I thought I had an opportunity to go for it since we are on speaking terms.
I asked her if we could maybe grab a cup of coffee. And she said she'd think about it and I told her It wasn't a date or anything so she doesn't have to worry about it. So she agreed to it, we sat down near the coffee machine in the store and we just talked about everything and it turns out she was a funny person and every time she laughed I fell for her even more and I think she could see it through my eyes. At some point she told me that she now noticed that I'm not that bad looking, I laughed at that and replied
"Maybe I should trademark my face"
We had, a laugh and she just had to go but she didn't buy anything today I guess she was really there to apologize and that's when things got worse because I thought it was a crush and would probably disappear, no, it didn't, it got even worse I started dreaming about her, I started thinking about her more and more over and over
