Welcome to the Vargas Café!

Chapter 10

Lovino gulped in the cool night air, the noise from inside dampened a little. He walked to the other side of the street and leaned against a lamp post, almost wishing he was at his usual spot on the concrete behind the cafe. This concrete was probably stained with stale dog piss.

Some stars had started to come out, and the air was full of lingering scents of summertime flowers. It was a perfect night, really.

Lovino touched his lips, the ghost of the kiss still there. What was wrong with him? Why did he run? He wanted to sob, but refused to let himself break down again. He had to work through this first and then talk to João, before some sort of miscommunication occurred.

Considering how many loved ones Lovino had lost, commitment issues were the most likely option. He didn't want to get too close to someone he could lose. But didn't João just say he would move here for him? But why? João knew nothing about village life, he came from a big city in Portugal. Living here would mean having to deal with the constant close watch of the people here. One wrong move and he could be shut out. And for what? Was Lovino really worth it?

The cafe noise suddenly increased, then died down again. Someone had come through the door and was heading towards Lovino. Was it João? He felt his heart skip a beat, then remembered João said he'd wait inside, so it couldn't be him. As the figure came closer to the light, Lovino realised it was Antonio. He tensed up a little.

"Hey Lovi, are you okay?" Antonio stepped into the light of the lamp post, which left some darker shadows on his face. "I saw you rush out, so I was worried..."

"It's Lovino," Lovino corrected him coldly, and winced a bit. "And I'm fine," he added, trying to sound a bit softer.

"Oh, right." Antonio looked disappointed. "It's just- I saw you and João, and I thought he did something to make you upset."

"He didn't," Lovino's voice had an edge to it again, suddenly feeling defensive of João.

Antonio just smiled.

"That's good. He seems to really like you, and I think you like him back, right?"

Lovino looked up at the stars again. They twinkled, as if they had stories to tell. They were so far away, and had experienced so much. Maybe he should try and be like the stars.

Lovino shifted against the cold metal of the lamp post.

"I used to like you, you know." It came out before he cold stop it, but he felt strangely at peace now.

Antonio looked taken aback,

"Really?"

"Yeah, but I guess I took too long to realise it. Now it's too late." Lovino looked straight at Antonio, who avoided his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

Lovino shook his head,

"Don't be. At first it hurt seeing you with someone else, but as long as you're happy, I'll be okay."

Antonio smiled a bit,

"I am happy. I think Ivan is my forever person."

Lovino smiled back.

"I hope I find something like that too. Maybe I'll find it in João, we'll see. Only time will tell, as they say."

He pushed away from the cold lamp post.

"Thank you for hearing me out, Antonio. I'm going back inside now, you coming?"

Antonio stared out into the darkness.

"In a bit," he replied absentmindedly. Then his eyes focused on Lovino again.

"Good luck with João. We may not be close, but he always means well, and he has a kind heart. Don't tell him I said that though," he winked at him.

Lovino grinned, then headed to the cafe door. As soon as he opened it, he was engulfed by the music and laughter of the people inside. He went in, and the door fell shut behind him. Suddenly the towering figure of Ivan pushed past him and out the door, presumably to be with his "forever person". If they were so close to each other, Lovino was curious about what made them break up in the first place.

But that was their past. The past was only there to learn from, not something to cling to. The two of them managed to move away from whatever happened, and now they were happy.

Would Lovino ever be able to face his own past?

His parents, his brother, his grandpa. He turned to look at the photos on the wall - which was difficult in the dim light with all the people blocking his way. His family lived in the past, and that's why he clung to it. He clung to Feliciano too, because he was all he had left of back then.

Lovino searched the room with his eyes, until he saw his little brother dancing with Ludwig. Feliciano was laughing, and Ludwig had cracked a smile, something Lovino had never seen on that face before. They looked happy. The realisation struck him that Feliciano wasn't as dependant on Lovino as Lovino was on him.

Someone's hand on his shoulder made him jump, and broke the constant flow of anxious thoughts. It was João.

"I can't move to Portugal for you." Lovino shouted above the music.

"I know!" João shouted back. "That's why I'm moving here!"

"But why?!" Lovino had to know. Why?

"Because I like you! And I want to be with you!" João laughed. "You know that, but maybe you'll only believe it once a moving van rolls into this place. I don't care where we are, as long as I'm with you. Call me crazy."

Lovino smiled. It was true, he will only believe it once he saw it happening.

"You bastard," he muttered.

"What?" João called.

Lovino shook his head, then took João's hand and gestured to the dance floor. João grinned and gave Lovino's hand a soft squeeze.

Then they danced, side by side with Feliciano and Ludwig.

And Lovino realised, this was the happiest he had felt in years.