Whispers of Fate

v

There was nothing like the incessant shrill of the alarm to wake you up. I was so cruelly yanked from the comforting blanket of sleep into the morning by the repeated piercing 'beep' of my old-fashioned clock.

I sat straight up, wiping a stray hair from my mouth. It took me a second to fully come round but once I was up I pushed my covers to the side and braced myself to roll out of bed.

I felt awful. I felt like my throat had been rubbed by sandpaper and my body had been sapped of all its strength. Every part of me wanted to fall back into the plush cushions and sleep, which was why I forced myself to get up. I could not afford to sleep in again and risk missing my shift at the cafe.

It had been five days since I'd seen Teo. Five days since he'd kissed my forehead and promised to be back before dark. Five days after I'd stumbled out of the Oak room at midnight to come back to an empty flat and no messages on my phone.

I'd called him but it always rang to voicemail. I'd had impressive self restraint, only sending a string of texts that went from 'where are you' to 'sorry for whatever I did, have a good life'. I think I had taken his rejection gracefully and I was somewhat glad to have removed myself from the situation before I got too emotionally invested.

Or at least, that was what I'd told Rose on the phone before she'd hung up and travelled two hours by train to be with me. She'd appeared in my doorway like a superhero and observed me snivelling on my couch in my oodie for all of thirty seconds before I was ordered to 'grow a pair' and put my 'shortest dress' on.

"Your problem, Grace, is that you dream up this version of them in your heads and you fall in love with this version. What your forget is, they're still a man and at the end of the day a man is going to do what a man does best, which is think with his cock. Do you think a cock can consider your feelings or emotions? No! A cock leaves when it sees you getting attached." Rose's words were slurring as she poured another drink down her throat. I was staring at her, still puffy-eyed and trying not to smudge my mascara.

"But he was different..." I began but was cut off by Rose slamming her cup on the table.

"No! They're never different, they're just better trained. Listen, you've got to stop thinking that one day you're going to wake up and life is just going to fall into place for you. No one is going to do bollocks for you. You need to take the action to get the life you want. The life you've dreamed of since we were babies. The life you deserve."

As she turned around to order another drink I thought about her words. She was right. For the past year I had been just waiting for things to happen for me. I had all but expected life to just work out, but in reality that's not how things happen. How was I going to get what I wanted if I just sat around all day crying about things not happening for me?

The night went dark after the next round arrived and my memory resumed after the alarm went off. I again mulled over my sisters drunk advice as I blearily applied a base layer of makeup in an attempt to cover up the state I was in. Maybe I needed to start taking the opportunities that were offered to me and actually doing something with them.

It was this thought process that had me ringing Lucy on my commute to the cafe. It was only just gone 7 am but I had learned that Lucy was awake at all weird times. She answered after the third dial tone.

"Mhm?" She sounded sleepy so I tried to make it quick.

"I don't want to wait until the end of the year."

"What? This is Grace, right?"

"Yeah it's me. I don't want to wait until next year to start the business with you. How soon can you get the property?" She had said that her parents already had a building she could use for a boutique.