Whispers of Fate

xvii

I did not want to open the email. Did not want to face what I knew already, to have to actively make a decision that could so dramatically impact my future. No matter how many times I faced them, I would never get used to the feeling of high-pressure choices. It always sent me on a spiral of 'what-ifs' and my mind often ended up 20 years in the future, either pregnant with twins or rich and lonely.

I chewed my lip. My eyes scammed the title of the message. 'Final decision on relocation', written in bold and read in a deep, authoritative voice. I had to click it, the suspense was killing me.

As soon as my mind soaked up the content, what it was telling me, I found myself falling to the couch. My mouth was open in the 'oh' position but no sounds were coming out. I took a second to read it again and blinked slowly. Well, there was only one thing to do.

The phone was ringing and, after a beat, Lucy's voice rang through clear as day.

"Did you read it?" Was her initial response. I made a non-committal 'uh-huh' sound, knowing full well she had also read the email and was trying to sus out my feelings on the situation.

"Well? What do you think." After a moment's hesitation, I let out a long, deep sigh.

"Guess I'm moving to New York."

It was surprisingly easy to arrange everything. Lucy and I had been bargaining back and forth with the company, trying to see if there was any option of me not having to relocate. As soon as the definitive answer was given I knew what I had to do and, with Lucy's support, I set about making everything happen.

I told Jade first. She was quiet for a moment, admittedly sad until I told her my absence would gain her a promotion, effective immediately,

"Someone has to be head of the department whilst I'm gone and no one does being a control freak better than you do." I was smiling at her squeal of delight, although it felt somewhat bittersweet knowing that I wouldn't be here to watch her flourish with the opportunity. I knew I'd trained her well though, despite it being only a few months working together, she had progressed massively as a designer and was fully capable of handling the responsibility. Besides, the move wouldn't be forever. Who knew, maybe one day I'd find my way back to Paris?

I was going to rent out my apartment again, now having two properties to my name. Luckily for me I wasn't going to have to purchase any more real estate as the partners were offering to put me up in one of their places for as long as I intended to work there. At the moment we were looking at about sixth months of work but I had a feeling I would be staying past Christmas in the city that never sleeps.

Lotta was often in New York, her modelling agency having a base there, so she promised to come visit me. It was easy saying goodbye to her as I'd done it so many times before.

The difficult part came when I told Teo. He'd guessed what was going on when I'd asked him to meet me at a local cafe but I think he was in denial as he walked into the cosy room, grinning like he had just won the lottery. I watched as he waved at me and walked to the counter to order, straight away seeing through his fake-happy act.

It was a defence mechanism, I'd realised. When I was younger I had mistaken it for genuine lack of care but now, with more knowledge on humans in general, I could sort of follow his thought process. If he acted like he didn't care and he wasn't bothered by something that hurt him then people wouldn't react with sympathy and he'd be forced into actually being okay with the issue. It was complicated, sure, and ludicrous, yes, but everyone had little things they developed to protect them. I wasn't about to judge him as someone who still slept with music playing because 'if I can't hear the intruder then he's not real'.

I'd already ordered a cappuccino and was sipping at it as he sat down in front of me. He brushed back his hair and let out a content sigh as he settled into the cosy armchair.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" It was a forced sentence but I decided to go along with his feigned ignorance, not wanting to make this any bigger deal than it was.

"Okay, well I'm moving. To New York. The office replied and I have to be there to oversee the process of development. They won't accept any alternative, only Lucy or I can run it." And despite my longing to stay in France, Lucy had even more reason to stay in England. She'd met someone, and although she was keeping under wraps who the mysterious person was, she was happier than I had ever seen her before. I was not going to force her to leave that behind simply because I'd become used to a certain lifestyle.

Teo nodded, taking a sip from the smoothie he had bought for himself (he had never grown out of the childish obsession with fruit flavours in a drink). I saw his eyes flick to the side and took note of the gentle jaw clench that occurred before he answered.

"I am happy for you." The false note of joy made me want to wince and I felt my heart sink a little as I realised again, this was the right time for us. Over the past few weeks I had felt our connection growing, even stronger than it once had been, and I had foolishly allowed myself to believe that maybe this could be the moment when our stories merged. Not yet, a voice in my head whispered. Fate has bigger plans for this relationship, be patient. I had to believe that this separation was simply because our character development wasn't complete yet, I wasn't sure I could face the idea that we simply weren't going to be together. We had defied the odds so much, staying in contact across the years and being able to maintain a mutual interest in each other, that it felt almost wasteful for it to not turn into something.

"No you're not." I sort of smiled as I spoke, my lips curving into a grin as his face cracked and he smirked down at his drink.

"No I'm not. I'm proud, yes, but God why do you have to leave now?" I laughed at his tone, playful with an element of frustration.

"I know darling, but it's New York. I don't want to go either but I have to keep my priorities straight. There are worse places I could be going, you know. I'm trying to focus on the positives here." I took a long drink from my cappuccino, getting foam on my upper lip. I didn't want to lick it off with my tongue, that was far too weird. Instead, I swiped my thumb across my mouth then gingerly sucked the excess foam off it.

"I know. Priorities, yeah." He trailed off as he spoke and cast his gaze down. I didn't want to intrude on his thoughts but I realised this could be one of the last times we were alone together for a while.

"Hey, I'll come back and visit. I still have boutiques to run and a studio that will need managing. I'll see you then, assuming you're still here, of course."

He shrugged slightly and rolled his neck, bringing his eyes to meet mine.

"I don't know, I will tell you nearer the time if I am here." He was beginning to speak how he used to as a teenager and I bit back the rising frustration that began building at the vague comment. He was a master of not promising anything, particularly when it came to the future.

"It's not the news that I was hoping for but it does come with one perk. I'm going to throw a going-away party and I do not intend to remember it the day after, so that's something. I want to make all the mistakes Paris has to offer before I leave." I offered, to lighten the mood.

This caught his attention as there was one thing Teo adored more than himself in this world and that was parties. He took them very seriously and he always, always, had to be the DJ.

"I'm choosing the music." He declared and I laughed.

"I'd expect nothing less." My smile rested on my face as I turned to survey the street outside the rustic windows. I would miss the beauty of Paris, that was for sure. It wasn't always conventionally pretty but I found there was something delicate in the mundaneness of Parisian life.

"I look forward to it." His accent hung off every word, a bit more subtle as he'd aged but still very distinguishable.

"I know you will."