Whispers of Fate

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I'm not quite sure what time I woke up. I sort of jolted awake for no apparent reason, finding myself all hot and sweaty again. For a few minutes I tried to go back to sleep but after uncomfortably tossing back and forth I realised quickly sleep was not an option.

Miserably, I dragged myself out of bed and back into the shower. Whereas the night before its power had been soothing, I found it jarring and almost painful as I attempted to scrub the tiredness off me.

When I wandered into the kitchen after drying myself, the time declared itself in bold red letters on my electric cooker. '6:27am' it read and I felt both a rising superiority complex that I was awake early and a worrying nausea that I hadn't had nearly enough sleep.

I opened one of the long blinds and peered out of the window to see that the sun had just risen over the skyline. I was unsure what to do with my day now that I'd woken up so early and felt the slightest bit annoyed that my natural early start was on my single day off. Still, I thought it best I be productive somehow, so I put on the single set of gym clothes I owned and trudged my way to where the lobbyist had informed me the gym was located.

It wasn't like me to go to the gym. It was never like me to go to the gym. Not that I had a particular aversion to it, rather the opposite. I'd always wanted to be one of those girls who practically lived at the gym and was rewarded with the perfect body and a healthy mind. I'd just never known where to start, petrified that someone would see my obvious lack of gym knowledge and make fun of me. I'm very sensitive and that would 100% traumatise me from every going near one again. I'd rather have the option and willingly choose not to go than be blocked by a bad experience.

Now, however, I figured was as good as any time to start going to the gym. It was super early so not many people would be there yet and I was new, so no one knew me. New habits are easier to pick up in a new environment, I thought.

I was regretting my sudden healthy mindset twenty minutes later after attempting to cover both the treadmill and the step machine on my first ever workout. Apparently you can't just start something like this and already have the technique perfect. You have to work. Still, now I had my goals and I was going to work towards them.

These thoughts were swirling around in my head as I cleaned myself up in the locker room. Everything was very bright and in-your-face in New York, that's what I was learning. The billboards, the taxis, even the bright red sports equipment that had littered the floor of the gymnasium. I liked it though, I felt like I was in a sitcom.

My workout only really killed forty minutes so I took my time getting ready. A simple outfit, consisting of a pink cashmere jumper and white pants that flared on the legs, was thrown on and I desperately tried to cover up the bags under my eyes with copious amounts of concealer. Deciding the natural look was more in trend anyway, I wiped off the cakey layers of foundation and gave up. Instead I opted to simply put on some mascara and brushed up my eyebrows with tinted gel.

When I was done I surveyed myself in the mirror. No matter where I was or what I was wearing, I felt like I always carried the image of a sheltered suburbs girl. I shook my hair out with one hand and squared back my shoulders. Time to go out.

I was staying in Manhattan and, although I didn't have much clue at all where I was, I quickly began to see the charm of the place. I wandered into West village, which struck a strange sense of familiarity into me because it was slightly reminiscent of the towns back in England. Obviously it was much larger and had been 'Americanfied' but I liked the cheesiness of it all.

Red brick buildings lined with black windows and balconies were the first thing I saw as I wandered through the more suburban parts of it. I marvelled at the single trees planted in the middle of streets, sort of ironic that it was trying to look natural in one of the most superficial places I'd been to. The streets were all so neatly laid out, like they were designed on an excel spreadsheet. I'd only been walking about fifteen minutes and was already completely confused as to what street I'd already walked down. I knew instantly I'd be using Google maps to find my way back.