A Hybrid's Hunger

Chapter 44

Chapter 44

I barely get any sleep through the night. Early morning, I'm awake and splattering cold water on my face to make my appearance less puffy. I want to stretch, take a run, run in the wild so I can clear my mind, but somehow I know it isn't possible.

I pull on some clothes before leaving my room. I can't stay in for long. I'm already losing my mind just thinking about Zade.

There are some things that make a better sense now, some things that I didn't see before, that I didn't understand before. The dots are connecting, but I don't know where I stand.

It makes sense how he knew my name when he first saw me. How he was at the wedding, my wedding with the alpha. Was he there for a battle or for me? How do I even begin to differentiate between reality and what I've forgotten? Is it all even true to begin with? Does my mother knows? She was there in those pictures, I was there in those pictures. Zade was there in those pictures, with me.

"How are you feeling, Aurora?" Estella asks me.

"Good."

She doesn't believes me. "I can sense when you're sad. Is something bothering you?" She sits in front of me and continues asking.

Her concern is warming, but I know well she won't tell me anything about my past, or what I've read in those letters. Neither would Zade. No one here is going to.

"I think I just miss my mother after talking to her yesterday," I say, keeping up with whatever they are thinking. "It was sad to hear her voice. I was just wondering if it would be possible if I could see her? For a bit? Just a couple of hours."

Estella masks her face with a gentle smile. "I'll speak to Zade about it."

He won't agree—I already know it. There's something conflicting between him and my mother. I don't know what it is, but I can tell now. It feels like he hates her. But why?

"Where is he?" I look into the hallways behind me.

"There's some work he has been attending since morning. I assume he's going to be back in a bit," She pats my shoulder and stands up. "But don't worry, I'll take you for some shopping and necessities later in the afternoon. I'm sure you'll have some time to clear your mind from what's bothering you."

"I'm sure..." I trail off, still staring into the hallway. I've the urge to go up there, to see more, to read more of those letters. I can't stop and I don't think so I want to stop anymore.

There's too much I don't know and I want to know. All of it.

"What are you making for lunch?" I ask Estella.

"Lemon chicken, it's one of my mother's old recipes. You can come help me if you want." She offers.

"I would love to, but I think I'm going to take a shower first and tidy up my room a little bit."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'll get it cleaned." She stops me before I can leave.

I shake my head, denying her offer. "It's fine. It's just a little dirty, I'll manage it on my own."

Just as I leave the kitchen, I take a deep breath and make my way across the hall to reach my room. My mind keeps imaging the worst, expecting the worst. I resist, or try too. But I'm scared. My lips tremble with every breath I take. Even when it's not cold in the house, it feels like I'm freezing to death. The hair on my skin won't settle down, neither will the panic in my chest.

I take a look out the window. Snowflakes are falling gently from the sky, covering the house in a blanket of white. Fear washes over me again as my eyes follow the snowflakes as they dance through the air before landing softly on the ground.