Chapter 19

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Chapter 19

Heat.

I'm in heat and I didn't even know.

The full moon stares back at me from the darkened sky. As I stand near the window, I understand what I'm going through. The crippling heat is going to eat me away and there's nothing I can do about it. My heart pounds in my chest and I bite my lower lip. Heat tingles across my body, like short stabs, and my wolf curls inside me. How did I not know?

Over the past few years, I relived heat by shifting and running for hours, to find my mate. But I can't do any of that. I have a mate. He's here, with me, only a small distance away. What's going to stop me from indulging in the bond? Even with all the restraint, eventually, I'm going to snap. I need my mate. Especially tonight.

An itch runs down my spine as I turn away from the window. My hand reaches the top of my head and I rub it while the other one rests over my waist. My insides curl, in need, like someone desperate. I rub my head harder. I want to indulge, but at the same time, I know time is of the essence. I can't give in so quickly, let him mark me, or even take pleasure in taking the heat out of my body.

He's vindictive, cruel.

Yet so gentle.

My wolf withers, filling my head with ideas I can't go through. I know I've made a mistake in what I did earlier and as much as I want to fix it, I can't, not tonight.

Estella's right. If I go to him or seek some relief for my heat, he's going to take pleasure in tormenting me, just as he promised earlier. Or he's going to snap at me. I don't want either.

There's a starved monster in that tower, hidden away, and only someone dumb enough would go there, begging for forgiveness and maybe something more. A hunger rages within those walls, a hunger that knows no bounds but a yearning sets inside me, to be consumed, body and soul, to be marked and claimed in the most twisted way possible.

I lick my lips and step out of the bedroom. The hallways are empty but I don't want to awaken Estella again. She's going to convince me to go back to sleep. I can't sleep, I don't want to. I don't know what I'm doing, but I think it's right, or so my wolf tells me.

At the end of the hallway, I find a small shelf, and a few drawers, and within one of the drawers, I find a flashlight that's going to help me see this night. I grab it and wrap my hand around it tightly. Just before leaving the hallway, I glance back.

I'm making a grave mistake.

After a few seconds and a few breaths, I hurry into the foyer. My steps are quiet, barely noticeable to anyone. I reach the foyer and then for the door. It's locked.

Fucking locked.

My brow cocks. Why would it be locked? It isn't like some danger is going to come and kill us all.

A frown falls over my mouth as I search the foyer for a key to the door. Picking each item, I slip my hand under it but find nothing but dust. I groan out of frustration and look again, for a few minutes more. Where could Estella possibly even hide it?

I've looked into everything but the key is not here, which means she sleeping above it and the last thing I want is to disturb her. Even when it's been a few days since my arrival here, she has understood me, she knows what I'm going to do tonight and she has already taken precautions.

But nothing's going to stop me.

I crave for my mate, for the slightest interaction. It's not only about the several wretched desires coursing through my mind but also about how I've made him upset, how I've taken his blood from him and left him with nothing but a raw hunger. It saddens me and the feeling of it is worse tonight.

It's all ten times more.

I leave the foyer and head into the kitchen to open the doors leading outside from it. One of them is locked but to my luck, the second one is open and it takes me straight outside into the cold, crippling night.

My body shudders when I press my bare feet on the cold ground outside. It's dark and I haven't been outside in a while, especially alone. Everything about this place is still new to me. I'm not at home anymore, I'm at someone else's.

My hand tightens around the flashlight as I try to find my way to the tower. It's behind the house and there's a narrow pathway that leads to it. When I look up, I realize how tall and secluded it truly is. The thought of being there again, all alone, in the cold somewhat terrifies me. When I reach the door of the tower, I find it unlocked.

Stepping inside, I use the flashlight to see the stairs that are leading up to the room at the top. A few pieces of hair fall over my face and I don't bother tucking them back. Instead, I began climbing up the stairs.

It gets colder and colder with every second and the fact I'm wearing nothing but a T-shirt and some pants offers me little protection against the cold. With every step, I can feel the heat within me growing. It's nothing like I have felt before because I never had a mate before.

My mother was right about the attraction I'd feel. Only if I listened to more of her advice and allowed her to explain to me what was going to happen when I'd be in heat with my mate.

As I reach the top of the stairs, I pause for a moment, catching my breath. There's no light upstairs either. It's dark, completely dark. It reminds me of a haunted house I had been at once with Liora, at a Halloween party. Another cold breath flees my throat. I can sense him behind the large door, I can feel his essence lingering in the air, stronger than ever.

My heart jumps like a little rattle in a child's hand as I flicker my flashlight over the door. There's no going back now, only inside.

But that's if he's going to see me.

I'm not scared, I'm vulnerable and I want him. My mate.

With a steadying breath, I take a step forward and inch closer to the door, my hand reaching out to touch the cold metal handle, fingers trembling with cold. The door creaks open, revealing the room. A shiver dances down my spine. I step inside and turn off the flashlight at the same time as there's enough moonlight seeping into the room.

"Oh, my sweet little prey, how bold of you to walk straight into the jaws of your predator."



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