Chapter 50

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Chapter 50

"Is it a good distraction?" Zade asks me while closing the door of his room and stepping inside.

The blanket remains on my shoulder while I'm huddled in the corner of the bed, arms around myself while waves of hot and cold roll over me. My tongue brushes over my lips and I stare up at him in the dim light. Sweat has beaded on my forehead from all the nausea.

"I think I'm going to puke my guts out."

Zade's lips twitch upwards, a smile making a brief appearance despite all that's been happening. "You won't." He tells me while walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed, close to where I am.

"I do feel like."

"It's probably just a reaction—"

"Or maybe I'm dying."

"You're not dying, Aurora," he says, his voice firm yet gentle. "It's the venom reacting with the healing blood. It can be overwhelming to the body at first, but eventually, you'll be fine."

I raise a skeptical brow, looking at him through half-lidded eyes. "You sound so sure."

"Your mother is alive, isn't she?" He cocks a brow and says in a playful tone.

He's not wrong. Vampire blood did heal her, but I couldn't believe that she went on for months and months like this, in pain, so much pain. In the beginning, she appeared to be doing well when she was dying inside. I wasn't sure how long her recovery was after Zade gave her his blood, but when I last spoke to her, she sounded perfectly well.

So much better.

"How long is it going to be? I don't like being sick." I draw my gaze back to Zade and ask him, my voice low and dull.

"I know," He places his hand over my lap and says. "And it will just be a few days. There's nothing for you to worry about. You'll be fine, better than before once you've healed."

I nod, and he shifts closer to me, enveloping me in a gentle embrace. My face finds warmth in the crook of his neck and I settle down. Soft fingers trace patterns along my spine, and his warmth seeps into me. I close my eyes for a moment and swallow the bitter taste that has filled my mouth.

For a moment, it feels fine and then the hot and cold flashes appear again. My neck, where I've been bitten, throbs with pain with each breath I take and nothing seems to help it.

I look up at Zade and try to distract myself from the present, at least the present I'm in.

"Why were you there that night?" I ask him.

"What night?"

"The night I was getting married—"

"Oh, the night you did get married," He corrects me and I roll my eyes.

"You know what I mean, Zade," I mutter, leaning back slightly to get a better look at his face. "What were you doing there? Surely there was some other conflict than the fact that I was getting married."

"Yes, but I could not let you get married, especially to that man and I didn't care if I had to kill him or not," He looks down at me, his hand pressed against my cheek and his eyes darkening with every passing second. "You were mine and I couldn't let anyone else have you."

"But you didn't know that I was your mate then, right?" I ask him, putting Estella's knowledge to the test.

"No," He shakes his head. "Whether you were or you were not, I was not going to let you get married to someone else. Having you as my mate was simply ironic and a subtle way of the universe telling me I was right and that you were mine. A lot of things made sense after that."

"Like your undeniable hunger for my blood?"

He leans back, giving me a bit of space to breathe but still keeping me close. There's a moment of silence. Maybe I've said something wrong, or something I wasn't supposed to say.

"That and more. We have always been bound, Aurora, in more ways than one." I hear him say with a little hurt in his voice, but the front he puts doesn't allow me to get under his skin or to know what truly happened.

I shift my head over his chest and look up at him. "Is it still tempting? My blood? Do you still want to feed on me?"

Zade's eyes lock onto mine. "Yes."

I try not to flinch at his stern response. "And if there's someone else? Are you still tempted? Like Estella, she's a werewolf too. Don't you want her blood?"

He looks at me with disgust, like I've been the one feeding on other people's blood. "No," he says, shaking his head. "Your blood calls to me in a way that's—different. It's not just about being a werewolf; it's about being you."

"So you fed from me some—many years ago—" I stop, trying to find the words to understand all of this. "And I was hurt? And my mother and your mother decided to take me away from you before you tried to kill me? And my memories were taken in the process?" It makes some sense when I finally say it out loud.

"It was different," Guilt flushes onto his face. "It wasn't just once, or twice. I fed on you a lot, for months and months. I lost myself in the hunger, the sheer intensity of it. And yes, you were hurt, and each time you drank my blood to heal. But it was more than that," he continued, his voice dripping with remorse.

"It became an obsession. An addiction. Every time I'd tell myself it was the last, but the allure of your blood, the taste of it, drew me back in. You were still young, I was still young but I had an eternity and you didn't. Your life was finite, fragile and I was risking it every time I came to you, yet I couldn't stop. The more I drank, the more I wanted. You became dependent on my blood to recover from the wounds I inflicted, and I—I became dependent on your blood."

I swallow hard, "How did it end?"

A heavy shadow forms on his face. It's terror. "Your heartbeat was faint one night. I didn't know if I had killed you or not. I thought I did, and I took you to my mother and told her everything. She did something, and you were fine in a few days, but your mother became aware. She didn't want me near you. I was taking away your life, day by day and it couldn't continue. My mother removed your memories of me, this place, of herself and you left from here after that."

"But the pictures? I didn't seem to be hurt in any of them."

"Most of those are all old, Aurora. Years back. Then, we were simply family friends. The hunger came later on, when I grew older."

I take in a shaky breath and nod. I look down at my hands, tracing the delicate blue veins visible beneath my pale skin. The same veins that had lured him in, time and time again.

"Will I ever remember anything?" I look up at him, eyes wide, desperate to know if my memories will ever return, or if I will remember anything that has happened. Any of it.

"No," His answer is quick. "You might feel familiarity, but nothing else. You can't remember what has been taken from you."

I lower my gaze at his response. It's not fair. I want to know, I want to remember, but I can't. Ever.

I lean into him, pressing my forehead against the solid warmth of his chest. His scent envelopes me, pulling me closer and he wraps his arms around me while saying nothing more even when there's so much more.

The letters...

All the years he had spent alone in guilt...

Do you think Aurora will want him after the revelation? Will her mother come to know and take her away once more?


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