Necropolis

locomotive

1978

Darcy had always felt lonely. She had an incomprehensible feeling of emptiness inside her for as long as she could remember. She often looked at the reality around her and could not understand why she did not fit in. Everyone seemed to fit easily into the environment and adapted to the group without thinking. Darcy couldn't do that. She always had the feeling that she was on the sidelines, involuntarily pushed away from the majority, she remained in the shadows. At school, she rarely talked to her classmates. She made contact with teachers more often, which caused her further conflicts with other students. Everyone called her "confidant". It hurt her very much, but she didn't let it show. She was still trying hard to fit into any group of kids, but no matter how much she wanted to, she just couldn't. In the end, she was left alone in the shadow of the people around her. She learned to accept it, and she hid all the pain inside herself. She was strange, alienated, and different, and apparently that couldn't be changed. So she escaped into the world of her imagination, where she could finally be accepted and liked. At that time, she dreamed that she had friends, was part of a group and did not stand out from anyone. This gave her a substitute for solace.

After school, Darcy wandered around her neighborhood, wandering aimlessly. She watched the residents of Seattle suburbs, whose lives had always seemed more interesting than hers. Although her house was considered to be the biggest party place in that area, something was missing in it. Every day looked the same, and she had already listened enough to conversations about some highs, travels, energy and white and green powders. There was not a moment when there were no guests in the house, and they often frightened her. Although funny and explosive, they were very strange and in a way scary. Playing with the dog, video games or family picnics seemed to her a much better way to spend time. Most importantly, they emanated love. And her family? Well, there was love, but not for Darcy. Her parents loved traveling, meditation, rituals, and festivals, but they treated their children as uninteresting objects that sometimes came in handy.

"Oh! Darcy, here you are, come here, sweetie." The girl was called to by her mother. Darcy walked shyly over to the woman, who was smiling unnaturally broadly. Next to her sat a man with long hair and even longer beard. Darcy didn't know him. Or maybe she did, she couldn't see his face. "Come on, come on," the woman chased the girl. She grabbed her shoulders and turned her towards the man. Darcy tensed up and looked around nervously. The room was full of people, most of them were regulars at her house. Everyone behaved strangely. Darcy couldn't explain it, but her parents' guests, as well as themselves, were always a bit detached. Their movements were either too fast or too slow. They spoke either too clearly or could not glue together a meaningful sentence. Maybe it's because of those strange herbs that burned in glass vases, or because of these white powders? Dede didn't know, and it always made her anxious.

"Klaus, this is Darcy," the woman said and pushed the girl into the man's arms. He snuggled into the little body and trembled slightly, as if electrocuted. He smelled bitter and sweet at the same time, nevertheless Darcy was ready to vomit. She was disgusted, but remained motionless. After a while, the man pushed her away from him and looked deeply into her eyes. He looked at her like a researcher studying an unknown object, and Darcy felt that way. What did he want from her?

"Yes..." After a long while, the man said and redirected his gaze to his mother. "I can feel it, clearly. How old is she?" he asked.

"12" the woman replied.

"10" was corrected by Darcy.

"Janis, this is your energy and you can still draw from it, you just have to awaken in yourself..." he stopped, looking again at Darcy, who, not understanding anything, began to retreat slowly towards her room. "Chakra!" he shouted, and the girl, already completely frightened, ran upstairs, locking herself in her room. Tears fell involuntarily down her cheeks. It wasn't the first time she talked to her mother's friends and similar situations had happened before, but each time, she felt terrible after them. She had a strange feeling, incomprehensible to her. As if she had been used. After all, this man hugged her, but spoke as if she were her mother. And she wasn't, she was herself, she was Darcy. Why didn't anyone understand that?

After this incident, a man named Klaus began to appear at Darcy's house more and more often. Her mother wanted him to spend time with the girl, but she avoided him like the plague. She was terrified of the things he said, especially since she didn't even understand half of them. Inside Darcy there was a small germ of a sense of belonging and care. After all, Klaus seemed interested in her, but he never spoke directly to her, he always spoke to her mother, even when he asked about Darcy's favorite color. Her mother knew nothing about her, so the girl often had to correct her mistakes, but with time she stopped doing that too. She didn't get involved in it. She tried to be in their presence for as short a time as possible and escaped to a room where she felt relatively safe. Because Darcy had little sense of peace in her life. At school, she had to focus on lessons and on not being moved by the insults of her peers, while at home, due to the constant presence of guests, there was nonstop hustle and bustle. She had the impression that life was like a locomotive, constantly rushing for an unknown purpose, which she couldn't stop. Only her small room, although poorly soundproofed, was a refuge for her. She hated, when anyone walked in, and most often it was her dad. At nights, all excited, he would burst into the room and mumbl something incomprehensible to Darcy, who had just woken up. The girl quickly chased him away, and when she asked him in the morning about the reason for his intrusion, he smiled slightly and stroked her head without saying anything. Sometimes she wondered why adults outside her home didn't behave like that. She had never seen anyone at school who didn't answer questions, or was as immersed in his own world as her parents. But she had always known such adults, so it must have been normal. She waited impatiently for her time to come, because although the regulars of her house frightened her, she hoped that when she grew up, she would join their games and conversations. She just didn't understand why her brother, Eddie, never sat with them. He was already an adult, about 17 years old, and yet he avoided spending time at home as much as he could. Darcy had seen him very rarely lately, sometimes Eddie didn't come home for days. Her parents didn't seem to notice it, and the girl was very worried about him at the time. Sometimes she would come to her mother crying, asking where her brother was, and she would send her to his room, which was empty. When Eddie did come home, unlike the enthusiastic Darcy, Eddie greeted her with sadness, often moved and irritated. He told the girl that he loved her, hugged her and whispered apologies, mumbling something about help and escape. Darcy didn't understand any of this, but she didn't care. She had her brother next to her and that was the most important thing in those moments. Eddie, although he didn't spend much time with her, really cared about her. From time to time he checked if the girl was okay and Darcy was very happy about it. She loved their moments together, especially when they were doing something sort of fun. She liked their joint missions, as Eddie called it. They would sneak into their parents' room, and while Darcy was to watch for anyone to enter the room, Eddie would steal valuable treasures, mostly money. Later, Darcy was tasked with keeping it a secret, which wasn't too difficult, considering that she hardly spoke with her parents.

This is how her days passed. Mainly in solitude, on passive observation of reality. When she did something, the things were... different. None of the other children at her school played with her siblings like that, and maybe that's why Darcy didn't have any friends. She didn't know. She was weird, but like her whole house, so at least that was good. The only thing she had in common with the rest of the community was music. It was everywhere. The girl had a radio in her room. She did not know when or where it came from, but she idolized it. With one button, she could plunge into a new, unknown world. Listening to music, she was as if in a trance. The conglomeration of beautiful sounds made an unimaginably pleasant shiver go through her body. Darcy often danced in her room, to whatever was on the radio. The songs were very melodic and filled with positivity. She often heard the announcers say about hippies, and although she didn't know what they were, she identified with them. Since it was such great music, there was nothing else to do but be a part of it. And when she fused with music, she stopped being herself. Then, she could be at least a little happy.

A/N

next chapter with extra delay. ups. but here it is and it's much more heart wrenching that i expected it to be. but well. it's only the beginning. next chapter out in few days. byeeeeeeeee