"Your allure is a subtle temptation, a quiet seduction that lingers in the air. Every glance and gesture is a promise whispered on the wind-inviting, intoxicating, yet always just out of reach. It's a pull I can't escape, desire dressed in grace."
This chapter is going to transcend the timeline of Beyoncé leaving to how they both felt during this time.
B G K
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I pulled up to Mama Sade's house and got out if the car while on the phone with my assistant. "Yes, I don't know how long Yvette. Please just make this easier." I said while I knocked on the door.
"Hey Say, where's blue?" I asked walking inside.
"She's in the living room eating ice cream." She said and I nodded and gave her a hug.
I stopped to the kitchen making sure to say my hellos to Mr.Somalí and Mama Sade.
"Mommy!" Blue came running. I smiled and hugged her.
"We have to go baby, make sure to tell everyone goodbye." I said and she went around telling everyone Goodbye.
I smiled as she skipped towards me. I said bye to everyone and got blue in the car. "Did you have fun?" I asked and she nodded.
"Yea, lots of fun." She said excitedly. I smiled and drove off towards the hanger.
"Guess what baby!" I said and she laughed looking at me.
"What mama." She said tilting her head.
"We're going on a vacation for your birthday!" I said and she started clapping and laughing at how loud I was being.
"Can we go to the south of France?" That shocked me.
"The south of France?! We can go wherever you want." I said parking the car near the jet. All of my assistants and staff were already in place. They had better be because I don't pay them all this money to not be prepared.
I got blue out of the car and watched her while I spoke to Yvette. "The pilot is waiting for the destination Ms.Knowles." She said and I nodded.
"Thank you, is everything in place and correct?" I asked and she nodded.
"Yes ma'am there were some vitamins that you listed they're in the smallest bag, just so it's not difficult for you to find." I nodded and gave her a hug.
"Thank you very much Yvette." I said and I took blues hand we boarded the plane.
•••••
We were in the sky headed for the south of France. Yvette made sure that everything was put together for our departure and landing.
I had a new melody for this album and I needed to lay it all down. Blue was sleeping next to me while I sent a text to Anaya.
: I need to take a break from this. My heart feels really heavy, and I need some time to figure out my feelings. The kids and I will be fine, and I can take care of them on my own. This is hard, but I think it's what we need right now. I don't know when we'll get to the place we once were and I hope that we can some time soon.
I turned my cell phone off and cuddled up with blue. I kissed her head and wiped the tears from my face.
"We're going to be just fine." I said kissing her head and rubbing my stomach.
•••••••
A G S
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Two weeks, two weeks since Ive seen Beyoncé or heard from her. I've been at home lying in bed. I've watched every movie on repeat, watched every interview. I knew her whole catalog of music in and out.
I haven't left this spot since I almost crashed a plane. I couldn't focus and lost control and almost crashed an air craft. I almost lost my title and all my achievements.
But I didn't care.
My phone rang over and over until it died. I was so broken that I lost her.
There were knocks at my door that never were answered.
My name echoed throughout my now hollow home. A house now.. no longer a home that used to be filled with laughter and moans.
Sweet moans. Sexy moans. Sensual moans.
Genuine laughter. Happy laughter.
My name varied from different voices each day for two weeks. I didn't want anything or anyone.
I don't care for anyone or anything.
Didn't have to answer the phone because blue and Beyoncé had their own ring tones.
I was numb.
••••• B G K
Lemonade
I sat in front of the microphone and piano playing and singing my hurt.
My pain.. left on each chord and dripped from each lyric. This body of music was raw I needed it to be raw.
Every note.
Every crack.
Every tear.
Every ounce of pain.
Needed to be heard. ••••
Two weeks without the love of my life. Two weeks of feeling her heartbeat and mine beat inside of me.
My child... our child notices. She's smart.
Two weeks of tossing and turning.
Two weeks of never ending tears that I had to hide.
She notices.
"Mommy, why are you crying."
"Mommy where's Anaya?"
"Is she coming?"
"Where's daddy?"
Questions that echo's throughout the night in this empty space.
Two weeks of you constantly on my mind.
Your voice, your laugh, your breath constantly being heard in my mind, my heart.
