"Your allure is a subtle temptation, a quiet seduction that lingers in the air. Every glance and gesture is a promise whispered on the wind-inviting, intoxicating, yet always just out of reach. It's a pull I can't escape, desire dressed in grace."
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I stayed up all night playing this album over and over. I listened to every lyric of every song with Beyoncé. She dropped a surprise album for the whole world but I knew what and who it was about.
We've been in my living room facing each other on different couches. Dramatic but that was us. After she refused to get out of my car that day she didn't talk to me once she did go inside.
We've had family dinners. Photoshoots. Gatherings.
Even church and she didn't speak to me. She dropped this album randomly and came over to play it for me.
It's been seven months since she told me she was pregnant. I've been there, we've done everything that a couple does when there's a pregnancy and child involved.
Tomorrow she has a performance, I think it's the Grammy's.
It's been a ritual that we had for some time for her performances. I see her before every performance even if I can't make it. I see her.
If I can't see her I call so maybe that was why she was in my house sitting across from me on another couch.
It's a routine now, she says nothing to me. At all.
She's won so many awards for this album so far and I'm proud of her. I've told her and gotten no response but I'm still proud.
I'll always be proud of her.
••••••
B G K
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I looked into the crowd as I said my acceptance speech. The world knew I was pregnant due to the photo shoot I dropped the pictures and told them that I've been blessed two times over.
It flew over a few peoples head but I don't read comments. I didn't need to hide a pregnancy and then hear more rumors about it so I decided to announce it and even perform.
The rumors with blue were the worst and it didn't make me feel any better about myself especially after suffering a miscarriage.
Blue was front and center along with our families. So was Anaya this would've been the first time that she's been connected to me publicly and I didn't care about what anyone would say.
A few people even made a pass at her before we walked in here. I still wasn't talking to her yet but one look and she knew to tighten up.
Before I started to speak blue waved at me and I smiled.
"Hi baby." I said.
"I would like to first thank God for this, Thank you to my fans and my family. I would like to thank the love of my life Anaya for all the support and encouragement and for putting up with me." I said making everyone laugh.
"Thank you for still loving me and still being in love with me. I would like to thank my fans and the Grammys, Thank you to everyone that worked on this project with me. Lemonade the film and album is a body of work that represents so much. It represents our pain and our struggles. Lemonade centralizes the experiences of Black women in a way that is not often seen in the media, and celebrates their achievements despite the adversity they face."
I paused while they clapped and then continued.
"This body of work, this art represents a journey from denial and anger to emptiness and apathy, forgiveness and redemption. I hope that one day Children of every race can see this body of work and see themselves for who they are and what they can also become, and have no doubt that they are beautiful and capable of anything. Thank you once again."
And with that I exited the stage and collected my grammy. We stayed for Solange and then everyone left together. I changed into something else that was comfortable and got into the car with blue and Anaya.
"Congratulations mama!" Blue said clapping and I hugged her.
"Thank you baby." I smiled and kissed her face. She looked at me like she was waiting for something. Anaya kissed my cheek and she smiled.
"Congratulations." Anaya said and I turned to look at her.
"Thank you." I said and she looked at me with widened eyes. I could see her try to play cool but she definitely wasn't.
Tears rolled down my cheeks and I placed my head on her shoulder. I worked so hard and people still had negative comments.
"What's wrong?" Anaya asked and I whispered to her so that blue didn't hear. My forehead was against hers as I cried.
"I worked so hard, I worked hard all my life I've worked hard and I've done nothing to deserve the things people say about me or my family. I overheard people backstage reading reviews about the album and some of them were so negative. They degrade my character and pick me apart all the time." I said.
"When you're the only person in the world to achieve what you've achieved and the only person who has a name that when it's said turn heads people are going to talk. But it's up to you baby, you have to choose if you want that to affect you. And they have to realize that just because you're Beyoncé the entertainer and all that other shit that you have feelings. But I'm proud of you , our child is proud of you. Everyone in our family is. I'm so proud of you baby you do work hard. And everything you do you always put your best foot forward. You've done well, so well that if you retire right now even blue's kids grandchildren gon make it on the Forbes list."
When she said that last part I chuckled.
"Thank you my love." I said as she wiped my face.
•••••
Blue spent the night with her aunties and Anaya was dragging me somewhere. I don't even know where we were going but I trusted her.
•••••
It was a house.. a beach house? I was confused but I didn't question it. Once we got out of the car I smiled a big smile because I recognized the house. It was one that I stayed up looking at. I talked to Anaya about buying it and she said I shouldn't but if I like it then maybe I should sleep on it.
"Congratulations baby." She said handing me a pair of keys and I smiled and rolled my eyes.
I unlocked the door to the home and pulled her inside. I took A by the hand and drug her up the stairs to the first bedroom. I was surprised to see it furnished.
I pushed her on the bed and dropped the keys to the floor before taking off my clothes. It was well deserved and long awaited.
Straddling her lap I held her face and leaned down connecting our lips.
"Make love to me." I said and that was the last thing I said before she took my body like she'd never taken it before.
