Mid July ~ Lando Norris

Worse

Everything is getting worse, I have gotten to they place when my family hide everything sharp. As soon as an hour ago I sat in the kitchen cutting myself not caring they my family walked in.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Charles said, he rushed in, grabbed my arms and took the blade from me. "Why did you do this again?" He asks sounding really concerned "it doesn't even matters anymore" the words hit me hard.. it doesn't matter anymore.. "Of course it matters y/n why would you say that, we need to get you help"

"No! Please! I don't want help Charles!" I cry and he pull me in his lap. He rocks me back and forth while the blood drip on my white t-shirt. He helps me to the bathroom and clean my wounds while I cry my eyes out. After an hour or two I have calmed down. Charles helped me in clothes I'm comfortable in before we went for gelato. We sit down in his Ferrari and head to a beautiful little gelato shop. He order me my favorite ice cream of all time, Pistachio while he take a scoop of vanilla before he drive us down to the beach. We sit down on a bench and enjoy our ice cream in pretty much silence. The sun is starting so set and when I finished my scoop of pistachio I just sat there, I thought of what went wrong between me and Lando, I also thought about my dad, my loved dad.. I miss him.. a lot, he was the kind of person that would be best at helping me at this type of scenario.

A little while later we head back to our mothers home, Charles and Alexandra have their own apartment but the last week they have stayed with me after everything happened. When we get back home I get tucked into Arthur's bed. It's a absolutely massive bed so we both fit without having to cuddle each other. I fall asleep pretty quickly and Arthur stays with me so I won't do anything stupid. The next morning I get woken up by panncakes with strawberries and blueberries. Also a really happy little Leo greets me good morning with some kisses. I eat my pancakes with company from Alexandra and of course Leo who got a little blueberry. I get up and brush my teeth and hair before I jump into the shower for a good 30 minutes before I blow dry my hair and treat myself a little bit.

It's now a month later and I have decided to focus on my racing career in dirt bike racing. It's Monday and I'm at the gym early for a session. It's cardio and me and my trainer have a great laugh before I go home for a few hours and then to the place where I'm going for a ride. It's very muddy and quite wet.

I start my KTM and gosh I missed the pretty sound of it. I rev it over and over again, it's like pure music to my ears. I drive a few laps in high speed, I missed this very much, the feeling of fast corners and the speed of it is something else, even tho I have started with this again I miss lando more and more, the cutting and burning is daily and I always need to have someone from the family with me to dont freaking cut off my wrists. So it has basically just gotten worse. It's one month and a week since he left me and I haven't heard from him more than the results in f1 that looks shit. His highest finish the last 3 races is p8. He keeps doing mistakes and blame everything on him self.

After the first few laps I turn the bike off and drink some water before we keep going. It's late in the afternooon when we are done. I get park my bike and start to wash it, she is really muddy and needs a great wash. Shampoo and water fix everything, she looks brand new again. My trainer put the bike in the van and I see Charles park his Ferrari Roma outside of the track before coming into it and up to me, I have changed clothes and hug him. "How are you pretty?" He asks and I say "shit, but it was fun at least" the last month Charles and I have been going out to do a lot of fun to get me on other thoughts but it's not really helping more than in the moment, but he keeps telling me it's great that I have a few moments when I'm happy at least.

I take my things and we go back to our moms apartment where he helps me to eat before I go for a shower, a good 30 minutes with music in the background, I blow dry my hair and do my skincare before I break down. Arthur comes into my room and picks me up and carry me to his room, He tucks me in before he comforts me and I fall asleep. This is pretty how the days are for me now. Cry, gets comforted, cry and it just goes like that day in and day out.

One day when I wake up I notice something weird. First off Charles ain't in the apartment, when I check his location I can see that he is in.. what? Lando's apartment??

What the hell is going on, when I go on my phone I can also see that Lando unblocked my number..

I looks around and Arthur walks into the room with breakfast for me. I pinch myself to see that I'm not dreaming but I'm not. I eat my breakfast Arthur got me before I head down to put them in the dishwasher. I sit down next to my mother and lean on her shoulder. She wrap an arm around me and gently kiss my head. My phone buzzes and I turn it to see who texted me..

Wait..? What..?