The Unwanted Soldier

Chapter 10

I need to pull myself together.

I need to stop letting my emotions get the best of me.

I need to stop getting weak.

I can't allow myself to be weak, Ghost said. And as much as I hated to admit it, he was right.

I wouldn't be in this situation if I stopped getting involved in things that aren't work-related.

I can't work with others - not anymore.

My arms were wrapped around my chest as I sat on my bed in the barracks. My fingers trembled, and my breathing shook, but I tried to control it. Controlling the fear, controlling the numbness, controlling the pain from the floating memories in my head.

"Why are you making me go through this, Hailey?" I mumbled into the empty room, leaning against the stone-cold wall. My gaze fell on the picture of her and me. All it took was one night to change everything so that your life ended as well as mine—at least, that's what it felt like.

I could be in a cute little cafe right now. I imagined myself sipping coffee with too much milk or tea. I would hold the newspapers in my hands, searching for a job. I would have my headphones on and listen to songs that reminded me of Hailey. But instead, I was sitting here.

"Fucking hell." I cursed under my breath.

I heard footsteps coming closer. It was not unusual, but I looked at the door. At this time of day, it should be quiet. Usually, no one should be here except for me. The footsteps were heavy. It had to be a tall person, taller than Ghost. Only one person came into my mind as I thought that.

With a loud bang, the door opened and slammed against the wall behind it. Black boots, black trousers, a black shirt and his sniper hood. König walked into my room with a straightened posture. I let go of my knees and sat up, glaring at him. I didn't care that he just saw me like that. His eyes showed me with ease the anger he felt. But I gladly showed him the same. Why was he pissed? He was the one that stepped on me - literally.

"You were at the medbay. Why?" Whenever he was angry, his Austrian accent seemed to come through. "That is none of your concern. I only talked to the doctor. How's your foot?" I asked provocatively in return. He stayed silent and stared at me as he stopped in my room and turned around. He grabbed the doorknob and closed the door.

A cold shiver ran down my spine. Seeing his big silhouette made me swallow, but no memory flashed before my eyes as I expected it. As he turned around, my gaze rose to his eyes again. He stepped forward, and I stood up in a defensive state.

My breathing was calm. It still hurts, but I didn't let König see that. "I'll rephrase for you, Autumn. You were at the medbay, ‚talking 'to the doctor and rushed out of there like the devil himself was chasing you. Why?" Was he for real now?

"Are you stalking me?" I asked with narrowed eyebrows. "Answer.my.question." His voice got darker with every word. "What do you want to hear? That you hurt me at training?" I snapped as the pressure and his presence overwhelmed me completely. This conversation wasn't an interrogation I would win with ease. This was a discussion with someone I knew I could catch feelings for. And I hated that fact. "Bloody hell." I added, cursing and taking a deep breath while blinking and looking down.

"Yes, and I want to know what I did to you." König answered, still staring at me like I was something he couldn't figure out. "Fuck you." I said slowly. Fucking psychopath. "I will touch every part of your body if necessary. Tell me where I hurt you." I glared at him, the rage fuming inside me.

He wasn't lying. He was dead serious. I could see it in his eyes, the blue consuming my glare like a wave. My heart shattered and beat like a hummingbird. My eyebrows frowned, but my pride was too immense to take a step back and get space between the two of us. And as I was thinking about it, I didn't want to take a step back - nonetheless, his threat. Or promise.

I wanted to say he wouldn't dare, but I know he did. I closed my eyes briefly, sighed, and looked at him again. "My chest," I said. His jaw clenched. "As you put your feet on my chest, a nerve or something like that snapped," I added with gritted teeth. Frustrated. "And why didn't you let the doctor look at that?" König asked. "I already answered your question, Colonel," I said.

"I read your file, Seargent. Don't make me guess." He said. "I read my file, too. The essential parts are blacked out." He knew it, and I do too. I was right. I could see it in his eyes. He scoffed.

A knock on the door interrupted our conversation. I was torn between being glad... and annoyed. "Hey, sugar, you're needed." König's gaze shifted immediately to the door.