My Attempted Suicide (boyxboy)

Snapping Into Focus

I closed my eyes, and a moment passed. When I opened them again, I was alone.

-Madeline Miller

Kyle's POV

The blinding light that tortured my eyes the moment I finally got them to crack open was too much for me. I shut them again so fast that the person singing before probably didn't even notice that I had opened them in the first place. That I was awake again. Just as the voice had wished.

Why was I here?

Right. That was a pretty good question to think about. I couldn't clearly remember what had happened before I had that strong urge to wake up which the guy's voice had arisen in me.

Saturday evening I had been at home with my 'family'. That I remembered. We had had dinner and they acted like everything was okay. My 'parents' had prayed before eating and because I refused to do so with them they got angry. But they had had no right to make me.

The moment I'd moved in with them I made it clear I was an atheist.

The lady who brought me into their household had told them too, and I'm quoting: "You already promised and agreed that it would be okay for you, as a religious pair, to have a child with another religious believe or lack thereof." And they had happily agreed.

"We're happy over every child we can get. It doesn't matter whatever believes it has.", pfft you'd wish.

Sad thing they hadn't meant it -mind the sarcasm. The only sad thing was their close-mindedness. I mean if my 'parents' were so religious they should at least have heard the term 'religious freedom' and should understand that it was my freedom not to have a religion.

Please notice the term should in the sentence above because they clearly hadn't.

Enough of that. So the story is I had refused to say Amen because I didn't agree and hadn't want to thank a god I couldn't belied in and as I already said, they got angry.

It got really bad Saturday evening. Worse than normally when they got angry at me. But I'm not going to think back about that torturous 'home' of mine now. I really had to focus on what happened at the moment then.

Apparently, the guy with the soothing voice had noticed my short moment of eye-opening since now I could hear voices around me, talking. I was still too dazed to make out a single one but I got some words out of that whole buzz.

"..really unexpected..."

"...we need to check.."

"...we lost him..."

"...blood tests.."

My concentration for understanding those words was broken when I felt someone touch my face and a sting in my hand.

Suddenly my eyes were opened forcefully and bright, unnaturally white light shone into them; confusing me even more but when the person was done with both eyes I was able to keep them open.

Trying to get them to focus wasn't am easy thing. It was like the feeling when you slept for twelve hours or more and only feel more tired. You try to get up. You try to focus but you just can't.

The people that came into the room shortly after I woke up got more quite which made me suggest that they're soon done with me.

Good. Because I was getting annoyed and paranoid.

People moving around and not being able to see more than blurring shades and silhouettes. Not knowing what they are about to do to you.

Tell me how can someone not get anxious about that.