Masks Always Fall

Chapter 30

My heart pounded as I compared the address on my phone screen to the number hanging beside the front door. This had to be it - Julianne's house was right here in front of me.

Gripping my phone tightly, I looked up at the modest two-story home and took a deep, steadying breath. Everything inside me was in tumult, nerves and anticipation woven into the memories of our increasingly intimate encounters. What would this talk reveal? Did she feel the same for me as I felt for her?

I was shaking as I rung the doorbell, unable to stay still from adrenaline and tension. A few agonizing moments passed before I heard footsteps approach and the door swung inward.

Julianne stood silhouetted in the entryway, features softening into a faint smile upon seeing me. "Emma. I'm glad you came." She stepped aside in a wordless invitation.

My eyes drank her in as I passed over the threshold, wondering if this would finally give me answers, clarity - or only deepen the confusion and longing already growing between us. Either way, there was no turning back now.

As my nervous eyes took in the cozy details of Julianne's home, she noticed my anxious state. "Can I get you anything to drink?" she asked gently.

I shook my head, not trusting my voice. My throat felt tight as my mind spun with questions and hopes. Julianne gave a small nod and gestured toward the sofa. "Let's sit."

We settled at either end, angled toward each other. Julianne's hands rested loosely in her lap as she regarded me with her piercing blue gaze, seeming to gauge the depths of my feelings. I wanted to look away under such scrutiny but found myself unable, trapped in her magnetic presence.

The past weeks' encounters hung between us, a nebula of unresolved intimacy and yearning. I knew there could be no going back from this, whatever answers I received. With a steadying breath, I steeled myself to finally break the silence. "Ms. Clarke..."

Her features softened again at the name. "Julianne," she corrected gently. "Call me Julianne." A small reassurance, yet it lifted my hopes that this talk might bring only honesty and understanding, not heartache, between us.

Looking into her eyes, I couldn't help the nervous quaver in my voice as I said, "I thought...that was inappropriate."

Julianne sighed, the corners of her mouth turning up in a knowing half-smile. "I think we're past that, don't you?" she replied, arching a brow gently.

There was no denying the truth in her words. We had crossed professional boundaries long ago, something deeper taking root between us with each secretive glance and private moment stolen from the watchful world. I nodded slowly, throat tight.

Her casual acknowledgement helped peel away another layer of fear, giving permission to the desires I'd kept tightly locked away for so long. But still, uncertainty reigned.

I looked away from Julianne, suddenly shy under the intensity of her gaze. So much felt unsaid between us, hanging in the charged air.

Sighing, I said softly, "So..." trailing off, unsure how to voice the turmoil of emotions within. I chanced a glance at Julianne and saw her rub her face wearily.

It was obvious this situation took a toll on her as well. Reaching across that gulf between student and teacher to find something more real had not been easy.

In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to take her into my arms and assure her she wasn't alone in this complicated dance of longing and fear. But propriety still held me back, as did the questions burning in my heart demanding answers.

Turning back to Julianne, I took a breath to still my pounding heart and finally asked gently, "Where do we stand? I need to know what this is between us, if anything."