The Trewhella Curse

Chapter 7

The first night alone is the hardest of all. I cannot bear my mother's fleeting looks as she regards me with pitiful eyes, as if I were a baby again. She even reverts to calling me 'little Mordowrgi,' of which she has not referred to me in several years.

Staring up at the stony ceiling of our cave, I spend the entire night thinking about where Merryn and Elestren might be and what fun they must be having without me. I become more familiar with the ceiling than I ever have in my life, noticing cracks and crevices that I never had before.

It is futile closing my eyes, because every time that I do, the day's events come flooding back. My eyes sting with exhaustion and my body yearns for sleep, but I can't bring myself to it. I know what nightmares will come if I do.

Leaving my mother to sleep, I surreptitiously head out of the cave. The night is a cloak of shadows, bearing down upon me. Listlessly, I float through the water with lethargic strokes of my tail. I travel aimlessly, with no real destination in mind. Simply, I follow snaking patterns in the sand, swimming through eddied, murky water. There is no moonlight to guide my path tonight. Deep blue shadows flicker across the seabed. My body shivers in the icy waters.

After half the night of sedate drifting, I discover myself in the Lost Islands. A creeping, tingling sensation slithers down my spine. Under the oppressive black of night, the Lost Islands appears a jumbled form of lurking, hulking dark masses.

I hover over the rooftops, hesitant to plunge into the foggy depths below. White, luminous shapes glimmer out from the darkness, squirming and wriggling. I put haste into my swim strokes, not wanting my fins chewed off by whatever it is those glowering eyes belong to.

I loop back the way I came, skimming further onward. All my muscles protest, groaning with sheer exhaustion, but I still won't go home. Soon, the sea foam is dappled pink in the dawning sun

Pushing myself through the ever brightening water, my thoughts trail. After this endless night, it feels like days since I was in the Assembly Chamber. Yet, it was this very same day that my friends were chosen for the Crossing, and I was not. They have left me, and I am stuck here all on my own.

Why was I not chosen? That question burns in my mind as I rail to all the tides and oceans with embittered envy licking in my stomach like a coil of writhing serpents.

Am I not brave enough, not strong enough? Am I meant to complete the Crossing another time? Or is it far worse than that? Perhaps the reason is inherent, something that resides deep within my anatomy that I can never change. After all, I am polluted with human blood.

Perhaps you must be wholly Mer, pure of Ingo, to be chosen. A disloyal flicker of resentment flares within me. I did not choose to have a human father. It is not my fault that I have tainted blood.

However, I forget that Sapphire and Conor were chosen- and completed the Crossing. They were far from pure Mer.

I am nauseous with regret for my brief resentment of my father's human heritage. Fresh tears spring in my eyes. I wish I could stop crying; it is not a natural thing for Mer to do. I have cried more on this night than I have in my entire life, as I tangled my head up in knots, searching for an answer. My questions remain unanswered, even when the morning sun shoots dazzling turquoise ripples through the waves.

Why was I not chosen?

There is only one Mer I know of that possesses the knowledge necessary to answer my question.

As if my tail instinctively willed me, I find myself approaching the borders of the Groves of Aleph.

Saldowr is waiting among the silvery sands, as though he knew I was coming before I even knew it myself.