The Life of Maku (Formerly: Makus Closet)

19 - The Demons

Maku was in her room, burring her face into a pillow. MCRs, famous last words bluering out of the speakears at full volume. Thoughts rushing through her head. „Im just pretending. Im a freak. Ill never fit in anywhere." She knew most of them werent true. But she couldnt pull herself out of the spiral she was falling into. She sat up, tears running down her face. She opened the drawer next to her bed, revealing alone knive. She just stared at it. Everything else getting blurry and dark. „Why am i even trying? If lilly wasnt here for me, i would be even more tired of everything. And arty. And my dad. And ___. And mr. Casper. And..."

In the evening, she called Lilly "Hi Maku!" "Hey. Do you have time to talk?" "Of course." "It happened again." "Poor girl. How are you right now?" "Still pretty numb, but its getting better." "Good. You know, i can still cancel that trip with my perants if you need me here." "No! No. You deserve a break and some relexation over the holidays." Silence for a few seconds. "Lilly?" "Oh, yea, im still there. Im just thinking. Maybe i have to rephrase that. I dont feel comfortable leaving you alonw while youre spiraling like that." "Please, im already getting better! Just enjoy your vacation." "So... you dont want be to be there?" "What? No! Of course thatd be nice. I... I just dont want to stand in your way like that." "Alright, im staying at your place for the next weeks!" "But..." "No buts. You clearly need me right now, and i want to be there for you. Besides, thats not gonna be the last vacation i get to go on." "I love you." "I love you to girl."

Maku put on her jacket and looked at herself in the mirror. Just like always, the girl she first saw last halloween stared back at her. Lilly walked into her room. "Looking good!" "Thanks..." She hugged maku "What are you thinking about?" "I... guess im scared of looking into a mirror and, at some point, not being able to see the girl i want to be anymore." Lilly gently put a hand on her head and grabbed the wig maku had put on again. Maku nodded. Lilly gently pulled of the wig and turned maku torwards the mirror. "Just look how far youve come. Your hair has gotten so long you dont even need your wig anymore. And that hair cut you got looks really cute." Maku smiled "I guess youre right. I shouldnt be so scared of stuff that isnt going to happen." "Its still good to think about what ifs every once in a while. To see how far you ahve come, and to figure out where you wanna go." They hugged. "Are you ready?"