It's not true

#11

"I scrubed so much, why won't it go away." he cries and Arthur kneels down next to him. Lando was still wet from the shower, he had only put on underwear.

"Give it to me Lan, you'll hurt your skin like this." Arthur says softly.

"No!" Lando sobs and rubs the sponge over his chest. Arthur places himself in front of Lando and he places his hand over Lando's. He push Lando's hands off his chest. His look stays on Lando. "Stop. Arthur please." he sobs. "You're hurting yourself Lan." Arthur says softly. "But it won't go away. His hands won't go away Arthur."

And he broke.

Arthur puts the sponge away as he takes Lando into his arms. Loud sobs leave his mouth, his breathing is going really fast and Arthur hears how he is short of breath, but he still lets Lando go for a moment.

Bottling up these emotions will only make things worse.

He rests his cheek on Lando's head and rubs his arm as he sits Lando down on his butt with a small tug. Lando falls against him and also let himself lean against Arthur.

"Let it all out. I have you, I have you." he whispers to Lando.

A few years ago, Lando whispered these words to him when everything became too much for him in Formula 3. It felt so nice to hear these words, because he could let himself go. He didn't had to take care of himself for a while because Lando would do that.

Now he whispers these words to Lando.

He watches Lando's breath closely as he cries.

"It has to go, his hands have to go." he cries and hits his body with his fist. "It has to go." He starts coughing and Arthur bites his lip. Arthur grabs his hand and Lando tenses his arm to bring it back.

"Don't hurt yourself, please don't hurt yourself." Arthur says as he strokes Lando's hair with his other hand.

"It needs to go away. I feel him, I see him, I-..." Lando starts to cough and Arthur makes him sit up a little more to get more breath.

But Lando pushes himself out of Arthur's arms and he pulls  himself to  the toilet and throws up. ĆOh Lan." Arthur says softly, rubbing Lando's back.

~~~~

"My stomach really hurts." Charles whispers as he sits down on the bed. "Today was the limit." Max says and he sits down next to Charles and hugs him. "I can't imagine how he must be feeling right now." Charles says as he puts his arms on Max's arms.

"I can't even imagine it." Max sighs and lays his head against Charles's. "I hope he doesn't think we'll be mad at him." "That is always said when it comes to this subject, but Arthur is with him and Arthur will immediately say how we will not be angry." "I'm glad Arthur is with him. He's not alone now." "No, that's the most important thing."

"We have security tomorrow, I hope he can have a quiet day." "There are people with him and no one can do anything to him. That gives me a little more peace for tomorrow." Charles says and Max nods softly.

Charles picks up his phone and he opens WhatsApp and he taps Lando's name. He presses the emotion button and taps the heart.

" Char, maybe this isn't the best idea." "But when he sees this, he knows that we support him, love him. Maybe this is exactly what he needs. No words, just confirmation." Charles says and presses send.

Lando needs to know that they love him, even if they can't hold him right now.

"It makes me so angry. That boy... It disgusts me to think about it. How can you do something like that? How dare you do something like that?" Max says as he sits up.