Sweet Delilah

TWELVE~MY FAULT

~DELILAH~

I sit up drinking coffee against my bed frame as I hear Jackson turn off the shower.

He stayed. He stayed.

***Flashback

He steps forward to hold me but I step back, holding my hand up towards him.

"No-no Jackson. Don't touch me. I'm giving you an out. Y-you can leave, and I won't blame you. I promise just-just I am no good for you, I'm no good just-go-"

"No, absolutely not, I will not allow you to stand there, and fucking tell me that you are not good for me. Not again. Fuck Delilah, do you have any idea how angry that makes me that you think that? No matter what happened with Ky-with him, I will still be here. I won't see you in any other way than good, kind, beautiful, pure-" 


I cut him off sharply and let a laugh out, but not a light-hearted laugh, an exhausted laugh.

"Pure? Pure Jackson? No-no, you need to leave, get out!"

That's what he wanted. Pure. He wanted who I used to be before...before Kyle...before he...


"Don't tell me to leave, I fucking hate it when you push me away," He says, his fists clenched by his sides as I feel my body go frantic.

"I'm not pure Jackson, I am far from it! So if that's, if that's all you want, a pure, innocent girl, then you should leave now because I'm not pure and innocent, Kyle made damn sure of that!" 

As the words leave my mouth I clasp my hand over my lips and turn away from him once more, tears pouring down my pale skin. 


I didn't just say that, I didn't just say that, no, no I couldn't have-

The realization hits me harder than a ton of bricks. Harder than Kyle ever could. 


I said it. Even if I didn't say it, I said it. 


I feel the tension in the room lessen as he turns me to face him. 


I can't look into his eyes. I can't see his hazel brown eyes reject me or look at me any differently.


"Del...did he...did he touch you baby?"

I know what he is asking. He isn't asking if he touched me. No, He is asking if Kyle ever forced himself on me.

I shut my eyes closed so hard they hurt. 



I can't, I can't do this. Don't open your eyes, Delilah. Don't look. 



I nod slightly, even though I try not to. I nod. 


Here it comes. He is going to leave you and reject you. Remember this moment. Remember his smell, his hands, his arms, his face, his...eyes. Take it all in before he leaves.

My eyes slowly make their way to his.


Nothing could have prepared me for this, nothing at all. Instead of the anticipated rejection, and yelling, I am met with warm arms, and saddened but loving eyes. 


He is still here.

"I-I don't understand..." I say, leaning my head into his chest as he pulls me to him. "You-your not...leaving?" I ask softly. 

He immediately pulls back and pushes my hair out of my face as he leans his face towards mine so close that I can hear him breath against my lips. 


"I will never leave you, Delilah. I see you as you are and as I have since that day at the cafe. Beautiful, and kind-hearted, and gentle. Pure. No matter what he did-fuck-I will-" He tries to take in a deep breath. I know he is trying to calm himself down. His jaw is clenched and his body is tense as he holds me close in his arms. "He will never lay his hands on you again. I will make fucking sure of that."